Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie does not always talk publicly about her family, but when she does, it is always a delight to read her thoughts on marriage and motherhood.
In an interview with Today’s Women Magazine, Chimamanda shares her views on marriage and the attributes a woman should look out for in marriage.
Her views on marriage
The ‘marriage pressure’ girls face in Nigeria is terrible. People end up rushing into marriages that should never have been. Marriage can be a lovely thing, a life-long friendship, a source of support, a sense that somebody is always on your side even when you have a disagreement. But I also think women have to be careful and considered about it because the institution of marriage is fundamentally not made to benefit women. It is women who are more likely to lose their sense of themselves in marriage, to compromise, to give up their own dreams, to sacrifice and not to expect sacrifice in return, to be full of big and small resentments that they nevertheless have to swallow. That there is an ugly, judgemental stigma attached to unmarried women is something we must change as a society. We should let people be. We should stop acting as if marriage is an achievement for women.
The qualities that women should look out for in the person to marry
The person to marry is the person to whom you can be your truest self…the person to whom you don’t have to pretend or act. The person who believes that your own needs and desires are just as important as his. And it should be a person you can describe with the word:kind. I obviously made the choice not to speak publicly about my husband (except for the few times when I forget) not because I want to be coy but because he likes and deserves his privacy and also because I don’t feel comfortable with that idea of a kind of public ownership of the private lives of public figures.
Read full interview on TW Magazine