“Don’t you feel like you missed out?” is one question Tola Okogwu is asked when she tells people that she married as a virgin.
Tola is a Nigerian-British author, hair blogger and a mother of two.
In an opinion piece published on Metro UK and titled, “I was a virgin when I got married and 10 years later I don’t regret waiting” she shared the journey from meeting her husband at 21, getting married at 25 and how they waited till after marriage before they got intimate.
Thankfully, both of them were virgins.
Even though, being a virgin didn’t matter to Tola, it mattered to her husband, however, that was not the reason she waited till after marriage.
Her Nigerian mother and her pastor were a major influence.
“…. something always held me back from going all the way. It may have been the voice of my Nigerian mother and pastor in my head yelling ‘No’ but, whatever it was, it worked really well,” she told MetroUK.
Secondly is her faith as a Christian.
“When most people think about the bible and sex, it’s usually very negatively. But actually, the bible isn’t anti-sex. If you don’t believe me, try reading Song Of Solomon; he was one horny dude. What my faith teaches me is that sex outside of the boundaries of marriage, as defined by God, is wrong.”
Looking back now as a mother of two, Tola does not regret waiting because she is happy.
According to her, “You can only miss something if you are unhappy with what you have, and I’m very happy. Sex tends to complicate things anyway and comes with a lot of drama.”
Read her full piece here