A female twitter user, @RealAtise tweeted her thoughts on what she thinks women fear about marriage and this generated a conversation that revealed the hearts of women on what they think about the subject matter.
It turned out that the fears, questions and thoughts on marriage differs from one woman to the other.
“Every woman’s biggest nightmare is late marriage,” @RealAtise tweeted, “You might say “I don’t care” but you know deep down you think about it,” she added.
While this tweet may be true for some women, it is not the same for all women.
Jenifa Ochowo seem to have spoken the mind of many women, as her tweet, “Correction please. Replace “Every” with “Some”” was liked by over 5000 people.
For Ihuoma, her biggest fear about marriage is getting married to the wrong man. According to her, she doesn’t mind if the right guy comes late. But Adekunle, another twitter user, was quick to remind her that getting married late does not guarantee marrying the right person.
“Being early doesn’t guarantee it either..in fact most times rushing into it almost always guarantees failure.. so we rather just chill for the right time and if the right time is late so be it..that’s the whole point which u r conveniently missing dear sir,” Lone Wolf tweeted, agreeing to Ihuoma’s fears as a major fear of hers too.
In a society where a woman is reminded that she can only get married at a certain age because the more she ages, the slimmer her chances of getting married, it is evident by the tweets of these women that they just want to do the right thing at the right time with the right person.
But most importantly, when they are physically, mentally, psychologically and emotionally ready!
“Maybe your biggest fear. Don’t project it on us. I’m 34, and not in a rush to get married. I don’t even fear “late marriage”,” Keletso N. tells @RealAtise, who asked if she is happy with her present status.
“Does being married guarantee happiness? Does a woman have to be married to be happy?” becomes the question on the lips of many.
In an African society, it is a taboo for a woman to say she doesn’t want to be married or have children. In fact, it is unbelievable to many that there are some women who do not desire these things but they dared not project it.
“… I met this amazing lady in her early 30’s with no intentions of getting married ever, and she gave very logical and convincing reasons for her decision. 2 of many reasons she gave, career and work commitments that will only get more demanding with time, & in her own words, she’s responsible enough to know marriage won’t work even if she tried. Also, she doesn’t want kids of her own, she adores children by the way,” Peju Francis-Abu tweeted, confirming that not every woman desires marriage.
For N’ella, if women had the same social freedom as men, a lot of women will not get married.
While some argue that marriage is not an achievement, it is quick to note that people’s priorities, obejctives and goals in life differs from another.
“I hate to #NotAll. It’s flawed thinking to assume the things that worry you worry every one else. Some people would honestly rather die than to have the things you wish for. Marriage is an example,” Shimmer says.
With different seminars organised both in and outside religious settings, conversations have been had around marriage with many questions asked on how to have a successful one but there may be some questions that may have not been touched.
“Tbh I fear I’ll feel tied down, clamped, forced to bear responsibilities. What if I get bored? What if it stops being rosy between us for a long time? What do I do? Everyone tells you to be hopeful but these are real questions,” Nickduchess wants to know.
Above all, this is what Lynsey K want women to know,
“Take it from a divorcee, don’t force yourself into a marriage because society dictates you should. I was tied down and miserable. Now I’m free and happy.”
You might say "I don't care" but you know deep down you think about it.
— Atizzle (@RealAtise) May 28, 2018