In the African culture, virginity is tantamount to the pride of a woman but what happens when it threatens the well-being of such woman?
A twitter user who is also a doctor, Chioma shares the story of a mother who was reluctant to let doctors treat her daughter because it would involve breaking her hymen. Meanwhile the girl had an imperforated hymen which is why she hasn’t menstruated.
While her reason may be understandable, we will like to know what you think about the story and when the line between health and culture should be drawn.
“So Doctor, you want to disvirgin my 17year old daughter?” The way she put it.
“Not really ma. To treat her, we have to break her hymen. She has an IMPERFORATED HYMEN, that’s why she hasn’t menstruated. Absence of hymen doesn’t make her less than a virgin, some are born without it.”
Mum did not look satisfied. Her daughter was 17 and had never menstruated. Had never discharged nor ovulated. Did she have monthly cramps? Yes. She also had a mass just below her abdomen which was burning. Scan showed a fluid like collection. Guess what it was….
You guessed right.
“Madam, on examination, we discovered your daughter has an imperforated hymen. This means the hymen is blocking the vagina completely and so, nothing coming from up can come down, including her menses and ovulation discharge, hence the fluid collection”.
Mother: “Why me? Doctor what can cause this? What will people say? So this young girl will just lose her virginity like that?”
I had some words to say to her, but I just sha took a sip from my zobo bottle. How was ‘virginity’ more important to her than this girl’s health?
” Ma’am, sorry to ask. Which is more vital to you? That your daughter be treated to let out all the menstrual fluid that has been accumulated or that she keep the hymen for a guy who might not be worth it in the end? Also Ma, What really is virginity?”
“Virginity is a woman’s pride. Her husband’s pride. A woman is more respected by her husband when the next morning reveals a blood stained bed sheet”
Okokobioko! So this was were this was leading. Interesting. Bloody bedsheet. Umunnem, Do I tell her? Now Listen!
This table is for those looking for hymen to marry. Virginity until marriage is great! I endorse it! It is a choice. But don’t get it twisted, just as virginity is not directly proportional to morality, so it is not to hymen presence or availability. How? Continue
Every girl child is not the same. There are different types of hymen a girl can be born with (Check picture below). Then, the amount of blood that will stain your ‘bedsheet’ is directly proportional to thickness of the hymen, IF PRESENT at all. Dear men, No hymen, No blood!
Yes, some girls are born with imperforated hymen. In her case, she had been taken from one herbal doctor to the other with promises of healing from hormonal imbalance. All it took was a good history taking, examination and a pelvic scan. Do not self medicate. Mother was more interested in the loss of a hymen.
Dear Public, a virgin is simply one who has not had sexual intercourse with anyone. If it were hymen dependent, guys will have theirs too. She told you she is a virgin, you are looking for ‘Proof’, you will wound yourself.
There is a reason you married her in the first place, stick to that reason. If she is a virgin with a hymen or not, no longer a virgin, all good, as long as she is your choice. Stop judging women by a tiny inelastic material that could snap under light pressure.
So dear woman, don’t be scared if you don’t bleed on your 1st time. It’s perfectly normal too. The hymen can also be lost in people who engage in some certain sports and strenuous activities. Cherish your first time when it’s time, don’t let anyone ruin it for you.
I know some men who ended relationships and developed trust issues towards their wives and partners, just because there was no blood on bedsheet after she claimed virginity. You might have some apologising to do. Especially in this era when virgins are rare. Use your head.
Dear Mr “I wanna confirm hymen”, how can we confirm yours, abi it’s a man’s world na. Well, as I told mama, we had to operate on her to rupture the hymen and let all the menstrual fluid that had accumulated for months out. Patient is fine and still a virgin.
Dear African Mother “Show me your hymen and I will tell you who you are”, you should focus more on grooming actual ladies. All some women have is their hymen, character =zero. Some, both. Some, character. Some, None. Choose ye first the woman…