Dear Women, Stop Kinging Your Queen


This is coming from the stables of unsolicited advice and again, as usual I am going to be giving my two naira on matters you have not thought about or probably did not see as an issue (or maybe not an issue, just something to address)

This is mostly for the ladies so take off your heels, wigs or what ever and buckle up.

A couple of days ago, my friend inboxed me to share her distaste about the fact that most ladies on social media like to ‘King their Queen.’ In her exacts words which I am using as mine too, she and I are asking;

Hello can we get an explanation please as to why some women now prefer the title “King” to “Queen” or would rather address themselves as “King of Queens” ?

This is how it happens and in most cases plays out on social media; a girl posts a picture and while you are still getting over the numerous hashtags such as #bosslady, #bosschick, #WCE #slay, #whateveritistheysayagain, you see the one that always unsettles me and leaves me hanging, #kingingqueen, #kingingwoman.

Really ladies, really, is there an explanation to this or are we trying to say in the quest for equality, a Queen must come with or be attached to King?

Really, think about it for a minute and tell me why you think a Queen is not enough.

Because this is how I see it,  and as I told my friend,

I think it reeks of lack of self confidence and even reinforces patriarchy which we are constantly trying to combat.

I think a Queen is a Queen, powerful just as any other King. Even the good books recognizes the Queen of Sheba, we did not read KingQueen of Sheba because a Queen is not less, a Queen has strength and is not incapacitated within her own jurisdiction. She is Queen, let her be Queen.

And my friends, in the words of my friend which I am using as mine again,

There is a line between fighting patriarchy and adopting its features as yours, and reinforcing it.

Because that is exactly what is going on, adopting and reinforcing the age long belief that a man is superior, that a woman can not stand on her own, that there is always the need for a man.

Just look at it! “KingQueen”, “KingingQueen”

There is something about it that is not right, something that says Queens can not be sufficient at least not without a King. And there is little or no wonder why we don’t see Hashtags like, #Queenkings, #Queeningkings.

So ladies,instead of perpetrating the age long belief for the next generation, let’s all just stick to Queening because we are strong and sufficient when we do.


Shade Mary-Ann Olaoye is a writer and journalist with hopes that her words will change the next person. You can find her on Facebook as Shade Mary-Ann Olaoye.

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