When parents are told to educate their children properly on sex, it is not just so that they don’t fall victim but also that they are not the ones perpetrating this evil.
A twitter user, who is a doctor working in the children’s department of a hospital narrated the story of a 3-year old girl who was raped by a neighbour’s son.
When the mother of the rapist was questioned, she said her son didn’t know what he was doing.
Parents are advised to train their children to be in their best possible behaviour and also to be careful who they leave their children with. The highest cases of rape have reportedly come from families, trusted friends and neighbours.
“The last time I received a slap that sound, I was in SS2. It was mum.
This time, my slapper was 3. She was my patient. I was trying to examine her ‘area’. I looked up in shock, then I met her eyes. I shivered. One act of abuse had scarred yet another. How?
It was a typical clinic day. In walked she, with her mum and aunt. Her shiny black skin and full natural hair caught my eye. She was 3. She didn’t look sick at all.
“Hey there happy girl, welcome.”
“What brings you to the clinic today?”, I started with a smile. One that soon turned sour.
What she said hit me and suddenly made me reach for my Zobo bottle. All that glucose would come in handy. “Come again please”, I said
“E rapeuru ya yesterday” (She was raped yesterday) Silence. I looked at the Barbie. “Who did that Ma’am?”
“My neighbour’s son”
“How?” She went on to narrate.
She was in the kitchen and had no idea that the neighbour had lured her baby out. She innocently went because he is Bro X. Next thing she knew, baby ran in to narrate the experience in her own words. Neighbours were alerted, boy was queried, owned up, etc.
“Where is he?”, I questioned
I noticed the other woman(victim’s mother) looked distraught. So I channelled the question to her.
“He is at home. He is my son and I have punished him. He won’t try it again. He is just 15. He doesn’t know what he is doing”, she replied
Nice. Next thing she said made me excuse her from my clinic.
“I just want to confirm if she has infection, at least, let it be treated. At least, thank God he said he ‘did’ just small and came out. It has not gotten to Police case. These are children”. 15 years, SS2 and doesn’t know anything abi?
Dear Parents….is rape justifiable?
I will call the little girl Nma.
“Nma, I am sorry, I just want to check what Bro xxx did to you. Oya show me where he put it.”
Her eyes were wide with fear as she pulled her singlet to cover her ‘area’. “Don’t touch me. Mummy tell her not to touch me”, she cried. Mum had tears.
It was at that moment of bending to examine her that I received the most defining slap of my past decade.
Next she grabbed the galipot containing swabs that I was using to clean her and threatened to smash my head if I continued. She wouldn’t even let any male doctor near her.
“What happened”, I asked Nma.
“He lift his knicker. He lick my thing. Then he goan put his… thing (whispered), in my… thing (whispered). Then I told my mummy” I held back tears. Her hymen was missing, she was bruised and all the culprit’s mum’s concern was infection. Smh.
I had a deep conversation with her mother, praised her for training her daughter enough to come to her with such info despite being threatened. I cautioned and counselled her on the dangers of ‘Unkuus and Anties’, because even male children get abused. I also talked with Nma.
To the mother of the culprit I said,
“Your son needs to come so we can question him and know the extent of what he did. I won’t be quick to throw blames at you. But you should never make excuses for your son’s wrong, being a minor doesn’t make his act less punishable by law”.
Nma’s case is just one of the many abuse cases that troop into the children’s ER or clinic. But what baffles me is how readily parents are ready to try to patch the matter. In Nma’s eyes, I saw a bruised woman. And I fear for her. She will need therapy, love and prayers.
Dear parents, sex education is under-rated. Let them know their body parts. Let them know that no one is permitted to touch them there regardless of ties, blood or not. Be approachable. Train and discipline your children, Abusers of today were once children of yesterday.
Also, greater percentage of abusers remain family, friends and people who are close to you. Abuse cases are under reported. If you are old enough to hold up an erection and guide into a hole, you are old enough to face the law, maybe in varying degrees. Rape is beyond the physical.
Finally, Nma’s parents want justice for their 3-year old daughter regardless. A fellow parent ‘wisely’ said, “At least she is a small girl o, thank God. Imagine if she was grown, we would also be worrying about pregnancy.”
#ThisIsNigeria where we look on the ‘brighter side’.
What would you do as Nma’s parents? A young boy clever enough to rape a 3-year old, clean her up with tissue, cleaned himself and threatened to wound her if she told anyone. For Unkus and Aunties on this table, fall and break your manhood.