Nobody goes into marriage with a manual of instructions on how to go about things, many people learn on the job. However, there are a few things to learn from other people’s experience. YouTube vlogger, Tolulope Adejumo talks about 6 things you’re not necessarily told as a newly wed.
You won’t always be together
There are some people in relationships who live in the same state or close to one another and you think that’s how it’s going to be forever, it’s a no. That’s not one thing you’re going to have. Your partner would be your companion but you have to learn that whenever they are around, you should take in the moment and enjoy it because they may be out of town tomorrow.
You have to learn to be fine yourself. That is why finding your purpose is one of the beautiful things you have to know before getting married. This is not to say that your purpose comes before your partner or is a replacement of your partner but the fact that there is something else that can replace your energy when your partner is not there. It keeps you from being so dependent and needy.
When I first got married, I was waiting on my husband before I did anything but the sooner I realised that my husband has his purpose to fulfill and I have mine, the better it was for me.
You will lose some friends
Even if you’re so accommodating, some people just feel like, now that you’re married, you’re no more in their class or level, then they move on to other friends. Be fine with it because seasons change. Although, some people, when they get married, they start looking for married friends which is okay but that doesn’t mean that you should let go of all the friends you had before you got married.
You are going to need a lot of forgiveness in marriage. If you need a long-lasting marriage, you need the holy spirit to help you deal with that issue of forgiveness. My husband and I are best of friends, but sometimes, my husband gets on my nerves. Recently, the holy spirit told me that my husband isn’t my Jehovah Jireh, he won’t be able to provide all of my needs and it sank deep for me. so, don’t expect that the man will know when to kiss you, cuddle you, or when you need money. Just make sure you pursue peace with everybody, including your husband. And you need to start practicing it now because you will need a lot of it.
It won’t always be your way
You are not going to always have your way. Some people are very strong-opinionated. They are like, it’s either my way or the high way, if it’s not my way I’m checking out. That can’t work if you want your marriage to last. If you always want to have your way in a marriage, maybe you’re better off single because it is two people with two different backgrounds with two different opinions and exposure. So, be willing to accommodate each other’s opinion at any point in time. And this is why you need to marry someone you trust his judgement.
People change. Things change people. If I don’t change in my first year of marriage, I could change in my third. It could be as little as my attitude to food, my husband’s reaction to money and you have to constantly remind yourself of that. Don’t be startled by a change in your partner but find a way to work it out. If they change for the better, that’s fine and if it’s the opposite, you have to find a way to talk to them through it.
It is not on a daily dose. Even if you want to, time will not permit.