Personal Stories

This Woman’s Experiences Show Just How Common Sexual Assault Has Become in Secondary Schools

   

“This is so real. I once had an asthmatic attack in class and had one of my class boys rushing to “help” me by patting my back. Nigga slid his hand to the front and for a moment the anger just choked me up” a twitter user said, confirming what another user tweeted about sexual assault in secondary schools.

While sexual harassment happens everywhere, a twitter user, Olohije, is shedding light on how sexual assault is being normalized in secondary schools. Olohije’s tweets shows why both the boy and the girl-child should be taught about respect and consent.

Boys need to be educated that touching a girl doesn’t make them a man but an abuser and vice versa. When students, irrespective of their gender report to a teacher about cases of assault, it should be taken seriously and not dismissed.

Just like the popular saying, it takes a community to raise a child.

Read her thread here

Gonna do a thread on how sexual assault and sexual harassment is normalised in secondary schools using mine and stories I’ve heard from friends who’ve gone to others as a case study. Sexual assault is so normalised even in the way slangs are coined to describe them. “Quaving” “tapping current” etc. It takes away the gravity of what is being done. It legit makes it seem like stuff boys do to have fun

I’ll never forget When they’d take light for like 5 minutes in secondary school and boys would start screaming sex sounds and make threats that they’d touch our breasts. Girls would try and stick together so nobody would get quaved and they would find joy in this

SEE ALSO: “No One Told Us That Most Times We Had To Give More Than Just Our Brains To Get That Dream Job!” – Ronke Ojo Speaks Out On the Sex-For-Jobs Culture in Nigeria

We saw it as our fate as girls. That it was some way of life that we couldn’t escape because. It was very tough for alot of early bloomers because you wouldn’t be able to go anywhere without anyone passing a comment. Jss3 was the worst I remember. I honestly don’t know what got into people. These boys would go to girls toilet and scare people. They would wait for a huge crowd in school so they could smack people’s bums and run away

This same period was when they were renovating hostel for senior girls and so some junior boys had to pass a route close to the stand by senior girls hostel and these boys would openly brag about the senior girls they saw. They thought it was normal. It was something they celebrated amongst their fellow boys. It gave them rep. Like you couldn’t even sleep in class sometimes because before you know someone has touched your breast as you’re sleeping

I’ll also never forget this happened to someone and she woke up and found the boy. The boy apologized and it took her a while to forgive and we practically bullied her into forgiving we told her “ah ah he’s said sorry, if it was this person now he won’t even say sorry”

Some people would quave and when the person notices and gets angry theyll resort to stuff like “your breast isn’t that big though” or something along those lines. Imagine this being your life

I remember in Jss3 as well. I remember being so close to this boy. We only became close in jss3 and one time he was like he had some confession to make. He confessed to touching me(still afraid to call it what it is) in one of these crowds and it sucked. It did.

Like I didn’t get it, why do you derive joy in doing these to people. I’m not going to paint myself as a saint and say I wasn’t an enabler because I victim blamed. I remember a setmate leaning in for a hug and the boy going on to squeeze her breasts and what did I and some other people say “you shouldn’t have hugged him, you know he likes tapping current” or something along those lines. We slutshamed this girl eh omg

I remembered this recently and I had to apologise because I was super guilty. And even when they don’t sexually assault, they’ll lie because it would build their rep. They’d sit and discuss these things as if it was something to be proud of.

Some boy touched this girl accidentally. It was an accident and he apologised but he went to hostel to say he did this and that. You were a dead guy if you didn’t do these things. And if no one was looking at you that way you were a dead babe too.

Lool what of the ss3 boys that will be trying to get Jss2 girls. Call her to class and the rest. They also did this to new students too who didn’t know their way around and were afraid of senior boys.

SEE ALSO: “A Producer Lured Me To His House, Told Me To Take Off My Clothes And Put A Knife To My Neck”- Steph Nora Okeke Shares Her Nollywood Sexual Harassment Story

Lol I remember my setmate devised a plan when we were in ss1 if ss3 boys called us. You’ll tell someone before you go, then like 2 minutes the person will come to where they called you and lie that some teacher is calling you or something. They saw it as something taken from girls and added to them. That’s why when people see all these dead jokes online it’s not just banter. It really isn’t. This is the reality of people.

Ah the worst was primary school growing up and knowing that one of my primary school teachers was a creep. He would call all them fine and smart girls in the class his “lolos” and hold their waists and be saying some inappropriate stuff. I swear we were under 11 then

3 years ago some of my primary school girls talked about it and we were so pissed that he’d taken advantage of our ignorance. We thought it was normal. Eww

Now I feel like someone will still read it and say “but you guys were young and immature”and I’ll say that’s rubbish because I can mention two boys that didn’t quave or anything because they knew how it felt. How wrong it was. They knew.

Also none of this immature thing because I don’t want children who people who’d be running from and hiding bodies from because they’d be assaulted, harassed or objectified even at that age. Consent is key because maybe just maybe if they saw this as something not to be taken

As something that shouldn’t add to your reputation but something that diminishes your reputation maybe just maybe a lot of them wouldn’t have done this. We need to call it what it is. Sexual assault. Not tapping current, not quaving. Sexual assault.

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