Open Letter

Toluwalola Kasali: A Letter To My Future Daughter


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Dear Oluwatomisin,

You are young, bold and beautiful and might certainly feel like you have the whole world at your feet right now, but I have a few lessons to share with you.

The world is a very big place and you have a role to play in it. I need you to start thinking about this early. Be observant and deliberate about the world around you and find what makes you tick; start your journey to finding your place early because you can and will be anything you want to be.  This is the first of many letters you will be receiving from me.

  • Stay strong:Life is a process and you will always be learning. It is a journey filled with many highs and lows and not a destination, so don’t unpack your bags just yet. Life will take you through unexpected paths however, one thing I can tell you is that if you stay strong and true to who you are, every experience will build in you, strength of character that will make you a much better person. By the way, a bonus point is the fact that you can also help others when they find themselves in situations you have successfully navigated. You are a fighter and you are going to stay strong till the end! I will be cheering you on!


  • Be purposeful about your life:Now, God has brought you here on earth for a reason and the best thing you can do for yourself is to achieve that purpose. By all means, make as many friends as you desire and be as cool as you want, but you must always remember why you are here. Have a dream and follow it regardless of what anyone else thinks or believes. All you need, is to believe in yourself and it will all fall through in due time (remember I said life is a process, there are no quick fixes). Don’t be afraid to be different, do you and be proud. It may take time, but you will be fine.


  • Live for something other than yourself:It is so easy for you to get self-centred in this world. When you internalize everything that happens around you, it is very easy for you to think the whole world is against you or about you, but no darling that is not the case. You need to realise that a huge world exists outside of you. Find a cause much bigger than yourself and follow it. Think of other people, be considerate, love other people as much as you love yourself and treat them right. The world will feel like a much better place when you do.


  • Be true to yourself:Oh baby, there is going to be a new fashion fad every season. One minute something is in vogue and the next minute it is completely out of style. You need to stay true to who you are; find your style, find what makes you comfortable, love the skin you are in, and love yourself!


  • Stand for something:Oluwatomisin, you cannot always go with the crowd. You need to be able to stand for something. People should know you by certain values, morals and belief systems. Don’t be afraid to speak out for what you believe in.


  • Your confidence should be in God and not in any material thing: It is so easy to lose yourself in the abundance of the things you have. You might begin to build your confidence around those things, but they only set you up for a fall darling. Let your confidence come from knowing who you are in God. There will always be something/someone better, finer, cooler and more interesting but that is perfectly fine too. Once your confidence is in God, you can have Him with you all the time and you can walk into any room with your head held up high.


  • Trust God with all that you have got:This lesson is not an advice, it’s a necessity! You are made in His image and for His purpose so love Him and seek Him first and every other thing will follow. I am not saying this will make everything easy baby, but it will surely make everything worth it! I promise you that! Knowing that God has got you no matter what, beats everything so trust Him; in the good times, in the uncertain times and in the bad times. He sees, He knows, and He hears you baby.


  • I won’t advice you to act the whole “I am miss independent, I don’t need a man…” but darling, I need you to understand who you are. I want you to find yourself in God and hold your own. Once you know who you are, it is easier to bring someone else into your life and you can work together towards making each other better people. Make sure you find someone who values you, who knows what you are worth and will treat and love you for the woman that is inside of you. Be with someone who is interested in your future and making you the best version of you. Be with someone who is invested in seeing God’s purpose for your life achieved. You also must be just as valuable to him though, make sure you are constantly adding value to him in one way or the other. You are an asset babe!


  • Guard your heart with all diligence:You are going to hurt people and you are going to get hurt: you cannot control what people say or do to you, but you can choose how to react. In every situation though, guard your heart with all diligence for out of it flows the issues of life.


  • Your worth is far above rubies:Your worth is far above rubies. This is what the word of God says about you so don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. You cannot and should not be bought at any price.


  • Value yourself above money:I am not saying money is bad, but money will be made, money will come. Your worth and integrity should never be exchanged for anything of monetary value. Please never ever renege on your integrity.


  • Be diligent:I really hope I do not need to explain this to you Tomisin. In everything you find yourself doing, do it well! Give it your all, set yourself apart. The minute you find that you cannot give it your all anymore, then it is time to move-on and let somebody who is willing to do the job better take over.


  • Be wise:With all the education and training you are going to get, I need you to gain wisdom and understanding. Be discerning and pray for wisdom always! I will be praying too, always!


  • Laugh:It is alright to laugh at yourself sometimes. Life is challenging enough already, try not to make it any harder on yourself.


  • Build a good network:I do not mean “many”, I said “good”. You need friends you can rely on. It is not in the quantity but in the quality.


  • Don’t just exist, I need you to live!Go out there and experience the world. Make new friends and always strive to be the best version of you that you can be. The world eagerly awaits the manifestation of the children of God.


  • Always wear a smile baby:So, I know I just told you that life will throw you some unexpected turns that might get you down but still, the power of that smile goes a long way. You never know who that smile will touch. In making a difference for someone else through your smile, your heart will also be gladdened, and you will be drawn out of your situation gradually.


  • Step out! Fall over! Jump off the wall! Do not be scared to take chances; they usually lead to beautiful places and to beautiful people.

I love you very much baby and will like to say I wrote this letter thinking about you alone Tomisin but I wrote this thinking about every girl child out there. You see, while I love you very much, I am learning to live for ideas bigger than myself, I am learning to live for and feel for people I have never even met, I am learning to be that which God has called me to be for His purpose.

I am still very much on my own journey and will probably write you an additional letter in a few years, but I have no doubt that together, we will make something absolutely beautiful out of this world God has called us to be a part of.

I look forward to meeting you.

Lots of Love,

Mum (Toluwalola)

PS: You will have to quickly learn at an early age Tomisin that I prefer to be called by my full name because it conveys more meaning for me. So, if when you read this letter, you choose to say you want me to stick with a particular form of your name, I will totally get that. Life is all about learning to respect other people, their views and outlook to life. While it might be different from yours, they remain very valid. Last lesson, respect! Respect! Respect everyone (Not just those you think are above you or can help you but every single person you meet!).

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