An anonymous blogger, DiaryofaNaijaGirl, started a series, DANGMonologue, which shares the firsthand stories of people we thought we really know. From award winning actors, musicians, and fashion designers to your next door neighbour, these people spoke their truths as against the social norms of silence and shame.
In the first episode, media personality, Bisola Aiyeola opened up about her childhood and her realization that her father had abandoned them for good.
Read her story below
My father left when I was 3 years old and it dawned on me when I was 7. It was actually my cousin’s birthday and it was a school day and my mum said we were not going to school that day, it was our cousin’s birthday, we should head over to her place. Now we were excited but little did I know that my mummy was going through some financial troubles and she can’t afford to pay our school fees.
So, on getting there, we just found out that one day stretched into one week, two weeks, a month and then we had to change schools. So, at that point in time, I’m like, “okay, do we still have our own house? are we still going back home?” there was the vacuum- the vacuum knowing that daddy is not coming back.
Next time I saw my dad was at age 13 and it was just that one day. He came in, saw him; it was odd, it was strange. We didn’t really have so much to talk about and then we left and that was the last time I saw him until I heard that he passed on in 2006.
And when he passed, I think I shed three tears. Not because he had left because already, the vacuum was there, there was no father figure, no dad.I was sad mostly because he didn’t live long enough to see his children succeed.
Some years ago, I was talking to my mum to know why she didn’t reach my dad, why didn’t she try to reach my dad and she said she tried everything. Back in the days when you have to go to your neighbors house to receive phone calls on a certain day and a certain time. She said she really did try that she will go to Nitel to make phone calls.
Then she showed us a letter that he stated that I have older siblings, not from my mum. And he said, the older children that he had taken care of, they are not doing anything for him, so, why should he invest in us?
And when my mum said that, it was heartbreaking because now that I’m a parent, I cannot imagine me leaving my daughter alone. I don’t even want my child to live with family, relatives. No matter how broke I am, no matter how hungry I am, I’d rather live in the streets, I’d rather do it with my child and not send her off to a place where I don’t know what’s going on with her because these children can be exposed to all sorts.
I didn’t have that stability of ‘this is what my mum wants, this is what my dad wants, this is how we are raised,’ and I don’t want my child to go through that.
Watch her full story in the videos below
Follow our new inspiring Instagram page – @dearyoungnaijawoman