Outspoken

4 Lessons Young Women Can Learn From Linda Ikeji’s Pregnancy Story And The Backlash

   

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Yesterday, Linda Ikeji published a story about how and why she got pregnant out of wedlock despite preaching against it, she also talked about her relationship with her son’s father. She apologized to the young women looking up to her and promised to do more good to help young women.

There has been a massive backlash since her story, and in the midst of it all, these are some lessons I think young women can learn. Fell free to add yours in the comment section.

Lesson 1 – Be kind to people, have empathy, you never know when the table will turn on you.

The main reason Linda Ikeji is receiving so much criticism is not because she got pregnant without being married; it is because she has also mocked and criticized so many women who got pregnant as single women. Countless women have suffered public humiliation and depression because of what she wrote about them.

 

Lesson 2 – If you have not been in someone else’s shoes, you can never know where it hurt. Everyone has a story behind the mistakes they made.

Linda’s story is very touching; no one’s deserves to be treated unfairly by a man she loves. But the truth is, she has also ridiculed so many women without considering their own stories as well. All the baby mamas she shamed and labelled also have their own stories, but she never gave them a chance to tell their own stories before feeding them to the internet trolls.

 

Lesson 3 – Don’t live on validation from others

Craving validation from other people is what will make you present your life as being perfect and better than other people’s lives when it is not. Craving validation from other people is what will make you say things that are not true about yourself so that people can look up to you. No one is perfect, live your life, do your best and let others be.

 

Lesson 4 – Own your shit!

As an adult you need to learn to own your choices, when they turn out good and when they turn out not so good. Stop playing the victim and blaming everyone for your choices that didn’t work out the way you expected. Stop trying to get validation and pity to justify your choices. Learn your lessons, count your blessings and move on.

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68 Comments

68 Comments

  1. Erus Onome

    Erus Onome

    December 15, 2018 at 11:49 am

    So true… she got served big time… in this life, nothing like perfection… so don’t mock people people because you think you are better off… because you no know the one wey dey come face you..

    • Bosede Aderonke

      Bosede Aderonke

      December 15, 2018 at 12:41 pm

      Erus Onome leave Linda alone o

    • Erus Onome

      Erus Onome

      December 15, 2018 at 1:15 pm

      Bosede Aderonke I no even near her at all…. na her mouth put her for this mockery…

    • Bosede Aderonke

      Bosede Aderonke

      December 15, 2018 at 1:24 pm

      Erus Onome no need for the mockery is all I am saying. Already she knows she goofed. We dont need to rub it in.

    • Erus Onome

      Erus Onome

      December 15, 2018 at 1:32 pm

      Bosede Aderonke definitely, but you know people na… why she dey explain??? I love her silence during that celibacy story, I expect her to just move on and face her bundle of joy… she does not owe anyone any explanation at all…

    • Bosede Aderonke

      Bosede Aderonke

      December 15, 2018 at 2:04 pm

      Erus Onome that story looks like sarcasm to me. I guess she just wants to trend and direct more people to her blog which is more money for her.

    • Oluwafunmilayo Omotayo-Akindele Anifowose

      Oluwafunmilayo Omotayo-Akindele Anifowose

      December 15, 2018 at 9:59 pm

      Erus Onome yes very sarcastic….. Not real… 100%α fake… She fall my hand long time when she started talking about celibacy. She acted like the perfect queen and mentor to young chaps n misled them. She hid d pregnancy for months. She dealt with Stella Dimokokus when she was pregnant. Made mockery of her. Now is her turn let her enjoy the show while it last

  2. Oluwafunke Adewunmi Ibuoye

    Oluwafunke Adewunmi Ibuoye

    December 15, 2018 at 12:13 pm

    This is just telling us to learn not to judge people

  3. Olufunke Olurotimi-Adejumo

    Olufunke Olurotimi-Adejumo

    December 15, 2018 at 12:22 pm

    Okay, but in my opinion the backlash gang are repeating the exact same mistakes they accuse her of. People need to stop playing judge and jury in other people’s lives…if your comment isn’t going to make a person’s life better then please don’t put it out there. I’m fairly certain despite the bold face she’s putting up she’s either dealing with of have had to deal with a lot. That in my opinion is punishment enough. Quit digging holes people. I wish her son a long, healthy life.

    • Bimpe Idowu Ibidapo

      Bimpe Idowu Ibidapo

      December 15, 2018 at 12:27 pm

      If you say she’s going through alot now cos what what people are saying about her,very good she needs to feel what others have felt with what she has said too.she just start

    • Olagunju Oluwalayomi Similoluwa

      Olagunju Oluwalayomi Similoluwa

      December 15, 2018 at 1:47 pm

      Olufunke Olurotimi-Adejumo Darling that is the meaning of the saying; what goes around, comes around. Life goes in circles, moreso, endless. Karma is a bitch, so bitchy it doesn’t mind repeating itself till eternity. #lifemystery.

    • Olufunke Olurotimi-Adejumo

      Olufunke Olurotimi-Adejumo

      December 15, 2018 at 2:32 pm

      Dear Olagunju Oluwalayomi Similoluwa by your own admittance those who are towing the path of criticism and judgement on this matter should expect to get the same someday. I am choosing to be different , I am distancing myself from a path of negativity. I am starting my own cycle of compassion and empathy. I like to be able to say amen when people pray “May you reap what you sow” . My question to all who feel the need to respond to my choice is simple are you ready when the karma you are setting in motion with you comments come for you?

    • Nonye Bethel Obiukwu

      Nonye Bethel Obiukwu

      December 15, 2018 at 5:35 pm

      Olufunke Olurotimi-Adejumo my point exactly!

    • Tonye Benson

      Tonye Benson

      December 15, 2018 at 6:22 pm

      She put her self in that position if she wasn’t the cheif judge of single mums no one will call her out now.. morale lesson” person wey they laugh other people make e remember say other people go still laugh am” “life anagaga. Oyenburu na turn by turn”

  4. Uche Odiliora

    Uche Odiliora

    December 15, 2018 at 12:34 pm

    Men, women and brethren, seek not perfection, but excellence. Linda thought she was perfect being wealthy, criticizing single mums and babymamas and even placing conditions for the man that will marry her… Is not all this arrogance in perfection??? I know she equally preached celibacy to her mentees but we know she was the inverse of her teachings. In essence, staying humble despite ur financial and social status in life, could save u a lot of unnecessary drama and damages. Afterall we are all anything we can be but just mortals.

  5. Uche Kc Uhegbu

    Uche Kc Uhegbu

    December 15, 2018 at 12:44 pm

    I will never judge her but i learnt this lesson long time ago, never judge or blame anyone because of a mistake until you wear the same shoes without missing a step!. I love her caurage and from her write-up i know she now understands that anyone can make mistakes .

  6. Nmecha Nwanyioma Amaka

    Nmecha Nwanyioma Amaka

    December 15, 2018 at 1:00 pm

    My prayer everyday is for God to bridle the tongues of women….chuchuchuchuchu is too much among our gender,if only we can control our mouth at every point,there won’t be the word TROUBLE in the dictionary again…
    #myopinionandprayer#

  7. Patricia Ogbeide

    Patricia Ogbeide

    December 15, 2018 at 1:09 pm

    Correct, own your shit!

  8. Tamaradima Nwaiwu

    Tamaradima Nwaiwu

    December 15, 2018 at 1:17 pm

    One good turn deserves another
    Congrats to u

  9. Tamaradima Nwaiwu

    Tamaradima Nwaiwu

    December 15, 2018 at 1:18 pm

    Nobody has it all

  10. Atim Ekemini Uba

    Atim Ekemini Uba

    December 15, 2018 at 1:26 pm

    She owes no one any explanation, she should stop putting herself in the spotlight

    • Ibrahim Shakiro - Ogunlola

      Ibrahim Shakiro - Ogunlola

      December 15, 2018 at 2:49 pm

      Business strategy… She makes money from spotlight… She’s just giving people something to talk about.

    • Atim Ekemini Uba

      Atim Ekemini Uba

      December 15, 2018 at 2:53 pm

      Ibrahim Shakiro – Ogunlola I get it ,was just wondering about all the hall a boo

    • Tonye Benson

      Tonye Benson

      December 15, 2018 at 6:25 pm

      Exactly my thought who ask her for all this gist wey she dey give us

  11. Oly Guzoro

    Oly Guzoro

    December 15, 2018 at 1:47 pm

    Word!!! On point 👏👏👏

  12. Deraah Lopez

    Deraah Lopez

    December 15, 2018 at 2:03 pm

    Hmmmm afterall she is better than so many single mothers that can take good care of the child.single mother with class

    • Tonye Benson

      Tonye Benson

      December 15, 2018 at 6:23 pm

      Deraah Lopez single mum is still single mum my dear when you want to address them you call all of them single mum there is no class and classless added to it

    • Lawal Hurairatu

      Lawal Hurairatu

      December 15, 2018 at 8:00 pm

      Class with lies. Celibacy my foot. Enjoying a cock and pretending to be celibate while mocking others you know nothing about their circumstances. She’s in the class of the classless, pls.

    • Deraah Lopez

      Deraah Lopez

      December 15, 2018 at 8:01 pm

      Lawal Hurairatu your blood dey hot my sis take am easy lol

    • Deraah Lopez

      Deraah Lopez

      December 15, 2018 at 8:04 pm

      Lawal Hurairatu yes I know most single mothers is not the their fault bcos nobody pray to be a single mummy sometimes is circumstance.i will not blame them.

    • Lawal Hurairatu

      Lawal Hurairatu

      December 15, 2018 at 8:12 pm

      Deraah Lopez I just hate pretense and being judgemental. I appreciate the fact that she took the decision to give the boy life though. She should have also apologised to those she mocked so that we will know she now understands how painful it is to be mocked like that and life will just be beautiful for all.

    • Deraah Lopez

      Deraah Lopez

      December 15, 2018 at 8:17 pm

      Lawal Hurairatu As for me I don’t follow her and is just of recent I started seeing negative things people are saying about her and all that.But still she neva believed that she might one day be a single mummy but nah I know she will be ashamed to face the crowd bcos I read all the advice blablabla she was telling people looking up to her but for me I don’t think I need any advice or to look up to any woman bcos I know my do’s and don’s.Bcos most of all dis yeyebrity I don even look at them most of them are faked.

    • Masordies Blessing Munachidi

      Masordies Blessing Munachidi

      December 15, 2018 at 9:41 pm

      Oh my
      The class got me lol in tears
      Ko jor!

  13. Amarachi Fechi Okoro

    Amarachi Fechi Okoro

    December 15, 2018 at 2:37 pm

    So this is what they said,what you used to measure will also used for you in return.

  14. Oluwafunmilayo Omotayo-Akindele Anifowose

    Oluwafunmilayo Omotayo-Akindele Anifowose

    December 15, 2018 at 3:46 pm

    Is good she is feeling the pain of backlash.. Sorry my opinion though. Yes I agree with everyone that’s saying we should not judge. But in her case am sorry I have to judge her cos she has judged others without getting to know the circumstances that warranted their mistakes. I hardly judge or condemn people cos I always feel some people don’t just do things, at times the situation they find themselves made the mistake to happen. Again her story is pretentious not real cos I know in the real sense as a young lady she might have want to do something to the pregnancy but maybe something could be done den she came out openly cos she hid it for months after misleading young people with her celibacy talks. Honestly I don’t envy celebrities cos their lives are like us they face what we face but come out with fake smiles and pretend all is well but they also suffer emotional breakdown. Linda is a celebrity blogger that believes she could have all ,like a perfect life that she can’t have a scandal or make mistakes cos she has everything comfortably and not checkmating herself so she fell and knew no one dat is above mistakes. Am very sure she didn’t know such can happen thus learning that in life we should be careful when judging others cos u not on their shoes. It could be u in their shoes anytime any day. Thanks

  15. Maudline Adaobi Michael

    Maudline Adaobi Michael

    December 15, 2018 at 3:57 pm

    Whichever way, she’s making money out of d scandal(bloggers)

  16. Achionye Clara Oduegbulem

    Achionye Clara Oduegbulem

    December 15, 2018 at 4:02 pm

    Okay .. Noted, Meaning those who live glass house should throw stone

  17. Charity Ohinmah Onwuka

    Charity Ohinmah Onwuka

    December 15, 2018 at 4:19 pm

    U are what u criticize

  18. Anwuli Angel Animam

    Anwuli Angel Animam

    December 15, 2018 at 4:37 pm

    Exactly

  19. Nwabuogo Kayidimma Osakwe

    Nwabuogo Kayidimma Osakwe

    December 15, 2018 at 4:47 pm

    Nwanyi di uso,muru nwa mara mma.

  20. Nonye Bethel Obiukwu

    Nonye Bethel Obiukwu

    December 15, 2018 at 5:07 pm

    She is 38. A grown woman. She would have aborted him, that handsome boy, to avoid comments like these and having to look back at her speeches…but she chose life to keep the boy. She made the right choice.

    • Tonye Benson

      Tonye Benson

      December 15, 2018 at 6:17 pm

      Nonye Bethel Obiukwu same person who criticised single mums “karma is a bitch menh”if someone had told her she will be wearing this same shoe she called oversized now see .of course those people choose to keep the child and she mocked them . Who asked her to explain anything she’s trying to justify her actions. But what’s my own I might be wrong

    • Abimbola Mosunmola Dorcas

      Abimbola Mosunmola Dorcas

      December 17, 2018 at 4:06 pm

      Other women she mocked chose life to keep their babies too but she keep on criticized them,this is a clear case of she become what she criticize,baby mama and single mother, forget about her money,she’s still a baby mama gang,lesson learnt,(eni ti o to Ku,ko ti mo iku to ma pa oun.don’t mock the dead because you didn’t know what will leads to your own death.full stop

    • Nonye Bethel Obiukwu

      Nonye Bethel Obiukwu

      December 17, 2018 at 5:11 pm

      Abimbola Mosunmola Dorcas I still stand on my point that she chose life. Many women have made mistakes playing God over others. Some women have mocked other women’s children when they made wrong choices, only for their children to do worse. She would have aborted that boy. That boy! She didn’t. She knew she will also be mocked and her words used against her, yet! she chose life, chose that boy!

      I say she made the right choice because it is obvious she doesn’t care about the world and all they will say. And that is the spirit I admire.

    • Offordile Gina

      Offordile Gina

      December 18, 2018 at 12:47 pm

      Nonye Bethel Obiukwu you are not making any sense…

    • Nonye Bethel Obiukwu

      Nonye Bethel Obiukwu

      December 18, 2018 at 1:31 pm

      Offordile Gina what sense do you have to make?

    • Obiefula Colette Nkeiru

      Obiefula Colette Nkeiru

      December 18, 2018 at 6:44 pm

      @ Nonye Bethel Obiukwu, yes Linda chose life which is very good. Those women she mocked also chose life which is also very good. The issue here is that she made them regret why they chose life. Remember he who lives in a glass house should not throw stones.

    • Abimbola Mosunmola Dorcas

      Abimbola Mosunmola Dorcas

      December 18, 2018 at 6:52 pm

      Nonye Bethel Obiukwu The fact still remains that She’s a baby mama and single mother,whether a billionaire or thousandnaire,whether safe the baby boy or not,other baby mamas even better because the father agreed them as one openly e.g Sophie momodu but jeremi did betting with his Friends to have a taste and Linda fall for it,I still repeat don’t mock the dead because your own cause of death might be worse full stop.

    • Nonye Bethel Obiukwu

      Nonye Bethel Obiukwu

      December 18, 2018 at 8:37 pm

      Abimbola Mosunmola Dorcas I see your point. But I am not thinking that way. My point is that she knows all of you will mock her and tag her all the names you are now calling her, she chose to keep the baby. I respect her for that. And I will encourage any woman who may have to chew her words to make a decision as she has, to do the right thing, as she has. This may not make any sense to you.

    • Nonye Bethel Obiukwu

      Nonye Bethel Obiukwu

      December 18, 2018 at 8:42 pm

      Obiefula Colette Nkeiru you are right dear. She made them regret. Same has been measured back to her. Regret For her? maybe she shouldn’t judge anymore.

  21. Ayama Kyky

    Ayama Kyky

    December 15, 2018 at 5:07 pm

    Nobody is a standard 4 another.
    She did a lot shameful stuff to get to her position so she deserves more Dan a backlash.

  22. Marge Edem

    Marge Edem

    December 15, 2018 at 5:25 pm

    From what I gathered, she has made countless moms miserable. She deserves all the backlash, yes. But like my dad used to tell me, two wrongs don’t make a right. She obviously now knows how it feels to be in the shoes of those she criticized. Let us stop with the bad mouthing and show some love. She will even feel worse that way. But she has learnt a permanent lesson.
    My two cents though.

  23. Lami J Udie

    Lami J Udie

    December 15, 2018 at 9:07 pm

    Exactly
    God has a way of humbling people ehn

  24. Sheila Michael

    Sheila Michael

    December 15, 2018 at 9:48 pm

    “karma is a bitch “

  25. Ayekolu Kemisola

    Ayekolu Kemisola

    December 15, 2018 at 10:43 pm

    I love this, u guys are blessing

  26. Juliet Gelsthorpe

    Juliet Gelsthorpe

    December 15, 2018 at 10:50 pm

    What goes around,comes around. You don’t preach what u don’t practice. Yes,she’s an adult and old enough to make decisions for herself. As much as her stories are funny and eyes popping,I wish her well in her journey of motherhood. Enough of d criticism.

  27. JoyNneka Ibe

    JoyNneka Ibe

    December 15, 2018 at 10:56 pm

    Nobody is perfect

  28. Deola Akanbi Ogunya

    Deola Akanbi Ogunya

    December 16, 2018 at 3:57 am

    Change is inevitable in everyone’s life. It could be a good change or a bad one. Be careful what u put out there.

  29. Blessd Ifeoma

    Blessd Ifeoma

    December 16, 2018 at 8:00 am

    She has made the mistake. It’s her life. Enough of the back lashing. Depression and suicide is real. Who knows her should always keep in touch cos with what I’m reading about her in social media……….

    • Abimbola Mosunmola Dorcas

      Abimbola Mosunmola Dorcas

      December 17, 2018 at 4:15 pm

      She has done worst to people, she has killed indirectly with her post on mothers and babymamas,many has gone depressed and couldn’t talk in public,I rmb when Tiwa Savage curse her for telling the public she’s pregnant of 2nd baby,meanwhile tiwa wasn’t even pregnant,how can she know someone body system than the owner of the body, I beg let her face the music till when lasted

  30. Gloria Alex Ariaga

    Gloria Alex Ariaga

    December 16, 2018 at 1:17 pm

    When it’s other women, she’ll call it Immorality, now it’s her turn, she says it’s a blessing from God. Karma came so fast.😂😂😂

  31. Arit Ansa

    Arit Ansa

    December 17, 2018 at 7:36 am

    You see this life ehn… Be kind to those on your way up cos u may meet them on your way down…but kudos to her, despite what she preached she didn’t try terminating it to hide shame

  32. Racheal Chi Obim

    Racheal Chi Obim

    December 17, 2018 at 7:54 am

    What goes around comes around

  33. Beatrice Victor

    Beatrice Victor

    December 18, 2018 at 4:17 pm

    Hmm don’t throw stone while living in a glass house

  34. Zoe George

    Zoe George

    December 19, 2018 at 8:00 am

    What goes around comes around.

  35. Joy Olloh Lukan

    Joy Olloh Lukan

    December 19, 2018 at 10:25 am

    She is just having a taste of her own medicine.
    She will survive and hopefully she has learnt her lesson

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