Nollywood actress, Etinosa Idemudia has decided to open up on her experience with domestic violence .
Sharing the details of her marriage with one Lieutenant Commander Babatunde Solomon, Etinosa said she was bullied and intimidated for the 6 years she was with her ex-husband. Unable to take the abuse anymore, she left her marriage but not without fractured ribs, a stab wound, one partially deaf ear among other physical and psychological injuries.
Infact, she attributes the video she made about rape to what she experienced in her marriage. Last year, Etinosa said that women should learn to turn rape into rapport, advising them to relax , enjoy it and think of it as a one night stand. According to her, that was what she did when her ex-husband raped her on their first date.
I can’t keep hiding for the rest of my life Tunde. I’m tired. You have bullied and intimidated me for 6 years! I’m not 22 years old anymore. I am not the child you married to torture at will, tie me up, put my head in a bowl of water, strangle me because you know I’m asthmatic then take me to the emergency unit of a hospital that is loyal to you. You tortured me to quit my job to be your full time slave- thankfully i never did.
One time I tried to settle things btwn you and Your mother and she said you beat her up several times. She said you were cursed. I was like what kind of mother says that about her own child. Then you told me she was a witch and a prostitute, she has 4 children from different men, you locked the doors and tortured me for calling her so I stopped calling her. Please I just want to be free. Stop threatening me, stop blackmailing me. JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!
I did not know how to get a divorce. I was young, he was a Naval officer, his brother was a top ranking lawyer and held a big post in the police force close to commissioner and they threatened me so I ran away from home. I ran away with fractured ribs, a stab wound, one partially deaf ear amongst other physical and psychological injuries.
I changed the locks to the home I own in PHC and was hiding there, then quickly pulled strings and applied to be a field engineer so I could go far from his reach. After failed attempts to get me back home, he filed for divorce on the grounds of negligence. I was so happy when a lawyer called me. I thought I was free.
I took a long break from work, left the country to clear my head. I wanted to live life without fear and do what makes me happy-then I decided to go to film school to fulfill my long dream of becoming an actor and film maker (This is another beautiful story) for a while, I was free
I was in an interview and was asked about love and romance and I broke down. I wasn’t prepared for that interview, that question. The lady got me deep and noticed me trying to get myself back so she pushed harder and I gave up and spilled a few. The day the interview went live, I spent a lot of money to bring it down.
I didn’t want to revisit my past. I didn’t want the media to label me as a “victim” and in all my suffering, I still wanted to protect him. I didn’t want the NAVY to find out. I was able to take down most of the posts but some couldn’t be removed. Too late. It had already gone viral (post in 2017 I think)
Since then, my life has been under severe threats from him. I have begged. I have apologized. I have sent his friends like Abdul to apologise on my behalf. He made me believe for years that I deserve the beating because I had a bad mouth and so he was the victim not me.
I have tried to build the image of a strong woman. I have built walls around me acting like I’m some tough mafia but… I’m haunted every time I look at my phone and I see a message from him. Right now, he has threatened me again to make a video saying he never raised a finger against me and that I am a liar.
I am tired of living in fear. I am scared shitless and I want to put it out there before I go to the police. If anything happens to me, please hold Lieutenant Commander Babatunde Solomon Korede responsible. He is an Intel officer and can get my address or my whereabouts anytime he wants. Just like he gets my phone number easy.
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