Being single, especially as a woman over 30, can feel incredibly lonely. I hear from women all the time who are successful in their jobs, some are doing Masters, they have great friends. In other words, their lives are going very well but they tell me that they’re incredibly lonely and they feel like their life is worth nothing. If you’re in that situation then you should stay tuned to this video because this week’s video is about how to handle loneliness as a single woman over 30.
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In this video, I’m going to be giving 3 tips on how to handle loneliness as a single woman over 30.
Tip number 1 is to focus on what you have. I speak to many single women over 30 who, because they’re single, feel they have nothing good going on in their lives. They hate their jobs, their parents put them under pressure to get married so they feel miserable at home and all their friends are married. When they come to me with this kind of situation, I help them realise the good things going on in their lives even though they may not be noticing them.
For example, you hate your job but at least, you have one. You have one that is paying you something. Okay, you may have to wake up at 4 am to go to work but you’re also learning about life and learning about people in general. So there is something good about having a job. You’re miserable at home because your parents put you under so much pressure to get married but at least you have somewhere to live rent-free. And all your friends are married. Are you sure that all your friends are married? Every single one of them? And even if that is true, this might be the opportunity you have to make new friends. That is always a fun thing. So you see, while your life might feel horrible because you’re single, if you think carefully and rationally about it, you might find that it is not so bad. There are good things in your life. Focus on what you have.
Tip number 2 is to build a life that you love. Imagine if you never get married. Now, don’t panic. Everybody gets married at some point in time. Most people do anyway. So, imagine if you don’t get married. What would your life be like? What would you do with your life? Would you like to travel around the world? Would you like to start your own business? Would you like to set up an NGO? Whatever it is, start working towards that dream right now! And money doesn’t have to be an obstacle. In fact, it is not an obstacle. All you need is some imagination and determination.
Let’s say what you want is to travel around the world. Start doing some research. Where exactly do you want to go? How much will it take for you to get there? How much can you save every month to achieve your goal? Then let’s get to the fun part. Why do you even want to go to this particular place? What are the activities that you could do in that place that you would enjoy? What are you looking forward to most doing in those places? Do a lot of research. You’ll find that as you do more research, you’ll get closer and closer to your dream until finally, one day, you’ll find that you’re living your dream. When you build a life that you love and you fill your life with activities, not things, you’ll find that you have less space in your life for loneliness to take hold. So remember, build a life that you love.
Tip number 3 is to stay active. Keep going. Wake up every morning, have your bath and do something every day that makes you happy. Don’t give up! The more active you are, the less lonely you’ll feel. And don’t just be doing activities because people say that you should do those things. Do activities that make you happy, not what makes other people happy but what makes YOU happy. The more time you spend doing things you love, the less lonely you’ll feel and the happier you’ll be.
I hope you enjoyed these tips. If you did, please share this post with your friends and also subscribe to my YouTube channel. I’ve got a lot of free e-books that I think you’ll enjoy. You can get them by clicking here. If you want DAILY love and relationship tips from me, follow me on Instagram. I wish you love and strength.
Lape Soetan is a UK-certified relationship coach. She helps single women over 30 attract and keep the right relationship while building lives they love. Ms Soetan is the author of several books and details of her work can be found on www.lapesoetan.com