Let’s Talk About It: Why Do Some Nigerian Men Get Angry When A Woman Says She Cooks But She Does Not Enjoy It?


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Subomi Plumptre who doesn’t enjoy cooking used to feel guilty about it until a friend helped her understand that she didn’t have to. She shared this in a tweet yesterday.

As expected, her tweet stirred up conversations on social media, while many people understand what she means  and can relate to it, a some men descended on her tweets questioning why a woman is saying she doesn’t enjoy cooking.

Now let’s talk about, why is there an expectation that women MUST enjoy cooking? Many women cook everyday but don’t enjoy the act of cooking, does that mean they are not woman enough? We do it, but must we enjoy it?

Subomi’s tweet,

Many women are like me – cooking is a trial & tribulation. We don’t enjoy it. But “culture” guilts us into doing it. I was set free by a friend. She told me she stopped cooking the day it dawned on her that she had no point to prove. She could cook. She simply chooses not to.

That day, I learnt a very important lesson – no one needs to know your business really. You don’t need to take permission to live your life or announce your independence to the world. Just live.

Too many people are trying to be activists when it is not their calling. They are trying hard to be role models when they lack the intestinal fortitude for sacrifice, vilification and sorrow. They have not counted the cost.

Some people are better off keeping their heads down and simply enjoying life on their own terms.


Now check these out:

“We Blame The Woman For Everything. Her Marriage Didn’t Work Equals She’s In No Position To Talk About Marriage” – Toke Makinwa Speaks On The Culture Of Shaming Victims

“There Is A Strong View In Nigeria, As In Many Other Cultures, That A Marriage Is Not Complete Without Children. I Don’t Agree” – Ayobami Adebayo







  1. Kasira Mark-Tsaro

    Kasira Mark-Tsaro

    December 21, 2018 at 6:37 pm

    I don’t like cooking. It doesn’t make me any less a woman. The few dishes I learned how to prepare, I’ve forgotten how to because I rarely do. In short, I can’t cook, and how I’ll feed my family when I’m married is not your business.

  2. Gladys Izediunor

    Gladys Izediunor

    December 21, 2018 at 6:50 pm

    Some women enjoy cooking while some don’t. Nothing spoil. But I think every woman should learn how to cook

    • Nwokolo Joy

      Nwokolo Joy

      December 23, 2018 at 8:19 pm

      I think everyone should know how to cook…both male and female

    • Gladys Izediunor

      Gladys Izediunor

      December 23, 2018 at 8:33 pm

      Nwokolo Joy the post was made about women

  3. Ezugwu Uchechukwu Jennifer

    Ezugwu Uchechukwu Jennifer

    December 21, 2018 at 9:00 pm

    Well I enjoy cooking. Some women cook but don’t enjoy cooking. It doesn’t make them less of a woman or anything. It’s just like washing. I love wearing clothes everyday. I can wear two or three outfits in a day but I don’t enjoy washing clothes even though I still do it cos I have to. Same applies to cooking

  4. Joyce Ephomoghian Chuku

    Joyce Ephomoghian Chuku

    December 21, 2018 at 11:49 pm

    I think there’s a difference between hobby and responsibility. If u see cooking as a hobby is different from when you see cooking as something that has to be done

  5. Adams Taiye Anne

    Adams Taiye Anne

    December 21, 2018 at 11:52 pm

    I cook, I don’t enjoy it, most times I prefer my siblings cooking. Why, cos while cooking I have eaten thru inhalation. Secondly am used to my style of cooking.

  6. Sonia Benson

    Sonia Benson

    December 22, 2018 at 12:41 am

    A woman is not defined by her culinary skills. Every woman must not know how to cook. Those who want to cook should do so, those who don’t want to cook should go do what they love.

    God in his infinite wisdom blessed us with different talents, why must we try to force one talent on every woman?

  7. Juliet Gelsthorpe

    Juliet Gelsthorpe

    December 22, 2018 at 2:48 am

    I love cooking. I enjoy doing so. I can hardly eat outside. But then,there are times am just too weak to do d cooking. I’ll either go over to my mum’s to eat or end up drinking tea all day.

  8. Uchenna Njoku

    Uchenna Njoku

    December 22, 2018 at 8:42 am

    I don’t like cooking AT ALL.I grew up cooking for my family and it was always a very long process.People see me and say I don’t look like I know how to cook,I didn’t know it was written on the forehead o.I even help my friend with her catering jobs when I can.The one that tires me out completely is market.Ill happily cook 4 pots of soup at once if somebody else goes to the market.

  9. Bimpe Idowu Ibidapo

    Bimpe Idowu Ibidapo

    December 22, 2018 at 10:33 am

    I love cooking a lot,I try to learn different dishes,I explore different dishes from different tribe but I don’t eat much.

  10. Furera Hassan Abdulkarim

    Furera Hassan Abdulkarim

    December 23, 2018 at 10:54 am

    I used to love cooking, but since I got married and it’s now a constant thing added with the fact that after cooking I can’t even eat because I’m too tired. Cooking is just a hobby for some.

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