No matter how long you spend with someone you love, it’s always a huge blow when you lose them and for Chinonso, the wife of late gospel singer, Eric Arubayi, it was a rude shock.
Chinonso tied the knots with her husband in 2013 and they welcomed a son in 2015. Unfortunately, on February 11, 2017, Eric was confirmed dead at the Delta State University Teaching Hospital after battling an illness.
According to reports, he became ill after taking an expired drug meant to treat his malaria and typhoid ailment.
Two years after the death of her husband, Chinonso told TVC how she felt when she lost her husband and how she dealt with his loss.
On his death
It was very painful to me because this was someone I wanted to share my life with and I feel like I was so blessed and lucky to have had him in my life. I wish I had him for longer. I wish that it was forever and ever but it was a rude shock to me. It was three years.
Having to be alone, having to live without him, not hearing his voice for a long time… I didn’t want to ever hear my phone ring; it was so irritating because he was the person that called me more. I had to change my ringtone; I had to switch off my phone for the longest time. I didn’t want to talk to anybody.
On societal support
I did get a lot of support from family, the church and online. I’ve met a lot of friends and widows who are encouraging me, sending me prayers and messages even when I didn’t want to be inspired because I went through a phase where, at first, I was in denial when I heard about it because we lived a faith based life. My husband was a gospel artiste and so, we pray. I couldn’t believe that God would do such a thing to me. I felt very betrayed by God. I was hurt. For the longest time, I didn’t want to pray. Even when people were sending me scriptures and messages, I didn’t want to have any of it.
On dealing with it
First, it started with me feeling very depressed. The society has its own standards. Cut your hair, wear black and be seen to be mourning. As much as you’re grieving in your heart, people don’t know what you’re going through. So, I went through that phase where I felt so depressed and I went to cut my hair the first time. I went back to the barber and told him it was not low enough, I wanted to go bald. I cut my hair and some friends would joke, “Girl, you are still fine”, and it made me feel worse. I just wanted to go about with charcoal and everything.
When I really noticed I was getting depressed was when I was going to church and I was very comfortable wearing black. It became a comfort zone. Just being there, not going to work and be isolated.
Then I had a friend of mine who said, “God made you for his glory. It doesn’t matter; you can keep wearing this black. You have the light of God in you and you have to let it out. He’s not going to be glorified if you keep doing this. Your husband won’t be happy”, and it triggered something in me and I started dressing up and wearing makeup.
I’m a professional makeup artist, so how was I going to pay my bills? How was I going to convince people I could make them look beautiful with the way I looked?
So, I went back to work and the first day I drew my brows, it was horrible but I got better at it.
Watch her speak here
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