Personal Stories

Her Mother Died, Her Cousin Raped Her, Her Father Didn’t Listen To Her Pain – Here Is Bella’s Journey To Healing

   

Founder of Woman.NG on Instagram – @sholaokubote

Bella Karmella was 11 years old when her young cousin started raping her. Sadly, none of her parents were sensitive enough to hear her cry. In fact, when she finally got to tell her dad, he said he wouldn’t take responsibility for what he did not know.

As parents, providing for your kids aren’t your only responsibilities, you are to love and protect them while sensitive to their emotions. When you make it hard for your children to confide in you, you may be giving predators’ permission to hurt them.

Sadly, women are raised to protect themselves rather than raising men not to harm women. Unfortunately, lots women have stories similar to Bella’s. Her story is heartbreaking and but we are glad that she found the courage to share and have also healed fully from the pain of the past.

Read her story below

My step cousin was caught attempting to rape his uncle’s girlfriend’s daughter. My father + step mom decided to bring him into our home thinking a new environment would change him. He raped me every day after school my 6th grade year. They trusted him alone with me.

I told my father about a year and a half ago.. his response? “yea, okay, blame me for something I had zero knowledge of.”

My father was a pastor and my step cousin was a deacon in training. Being that I was a PK and sat up front,I would end up having to hold hands with him during alter call. I’d look over at him and he would smile. I cried during the rapes and he would laugh.

My step cousin was only in 8th grade by the way. This wasn’t a grown man. This was an 8th grade boy with a big full of scare tactics that would shove church bulletins down my throat while raping me in the church floor.

My step cousin and I rode the same school bus. One day, he ran to the door unlocked it and locked me out of the house in the rain. I stood there begging for him to let me in. He let me in when I promised to let him rape me.

When he unlocked the door I ran in as fast as I could and ran to my room. The only reason why his plan that day was messed up was because my step sister and his sister came home from school.

I told my ex step mother what happened around the same time that I told my father what happened. She apologized from the depths of her heart and let me know that if I need any help with anything paying for counseling or ever needed to talk that she was there.

I recently told my aunt who acted as a mother while growing up. While telling he, her jaw was on the floor and her eyes filled with tears. The next day, she told me that she cried herself to sleep and had nothing but nightmares. She said that she blames herself…

She said that she wish she would’ve known. She expressed her deepest sympathies for my pain. She did not blame me. She did not fuss. She understood. She loved me. She asked me if I needed any help, mentally. That’s what the fuck I’m talking about.

My aunt asked me if I had healed from it. She expressed to me that if I had not healed from it she would do everything in her power to help me heal. She has supported me and loved me even more ever since I told her what I went through.

She said “sometimes when women go through these things it takes them a long time to digest the pain that is heavy on their soul. I am glad that you felt safe enough to open up me. I love you more than you will ever know. Want some waffles?”

My aunt stood in as a mom for me, but only when my father would allow her to. She wanted custody of me growing up. However she did not know everything that I was going through.

I cried about it in the beginning,but then I became numb. So, I buried myself in my music. I was a choir geek. I cried using my voice. Every solo I had, I cried through my music. Music kept me sane and ultimately saved my life.

Why would I tell my father about my sexual assault when a year prior I told him I wanted to kill myself. I had recently lost both grand parents a month apart from each other & was being picked on by my 5th grade teacher. His response was ..

“Get the fuck up out my face with that stupid shit!! Don’t you ever come to me with no stupid shit like that again. You wanna kill yourself? I kill you if you come to me with some bullshit like that again. Get the hell up out my face.”

Why would I tell anyone else when my father used to tell me all the time “Don’t nobody care about your damn feelings. You don’t have feelings till you pay some damn bills”

I’m fully healed from my childhood. I just wanted y’all to see wtf goes on in the black RELIGIOUS community. They shame the women and feed the monsters.

Now check these out:

For 17 years Juliana Olayode Prayed For Her Parents To Reconcile, This Is How She Got Her Prayers Answered

“It Could Happen To Any Parent”- Oby Ohakim Shares How She Almost Lost Her First Child After Forgetting Him In The Car

Gbemi Olateru Olagbegi Is Stirring The Conversation We All Need To Have On What It Really Means To Be A Good Parent

 

 

 

 

7 Comments

7 Comments

  1. Esther Chinonyerem Ejim

    Esther Chinonyerem Ejim

    January 22, 2019 at 6:44 pm

    Chai, this is violation of the highest order

  2. Ibrahim Shakiro - Ogunlola

    Ibrahim Shakiro - Ogunlola

    January 22, 2019 at 7:27 pm

    So sad!

  3. Barakah Shuaib Adekunle

    Barakah Shuaib Adekunle

    January 22, 2019 at 8:33 pm

    Devils don’t change

  4. Olajumoke Egbeola

    Olajumoke Egbeola

    January 22, 2019 at 10:20 pm

    I’m so glad you healed! The world is full of evil and they are absof**kingly so close to us! We as parents need to start “befriending”our children not just being their parents! This is so heart and gut wrenching…

  5. Oki Kesiena

    Oki Kesiena

    January 22, 2019 at 10:36 pm

    Parents watch your children closely especially the females

  6. Juliet Gelsthorpe

    Juliet Gelsthorpe

    January 22, 2019 at 10:58 pm

    I don’t permit any man into my home wen am not around. I’ve so educated my girls on sex education that most times,they sit with me and remind me of the things I’ve taught them. Terrible things we hear everyday. God help us and protect our innocent kids pls.

  7. Kemi Yesufu

    Kemi Yesufu

    January 23, 2019 at 12:18 am

    Some parents are stupidly idiotic. It’s time tgey started sending these kinds of parents to jail for child enderagement. FOOLS

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Woman.NG is the first and biggest website for Nigerian women. We write, aggregate and curate inspiring, informative, and entertaining content for women, across multiple platforms.

For Adverts & Enquiries:

Email: info@woman.ng
08177780045

Copyright © 2015 Woman.NG. Designed by Soft Runner

To Top