#SheSaidThis

Kelechi Ikpe Said Some Men Are Depressed Because Women Are Taking Leadership Roles, Nigerian Men Replied Her In Fury

   

Founder of Woman.NG on Instagram – @sholaokubote

In a short video making the rounds online, four women, Lolo Cynthia, Kelechi Ikpe, Rafieka Williams, and Wathoni Anyansi, sat  to talk about “Depression in the 21st century”.

While talking about the factors that contribute to depression, media personality, Kelechi Ikpe mentioned that some men are depressed because women are taking more leadership positions.

“A lot of men are depressed because women are taking a lot of leadership roles and they can’t take it. And a lot of women are depressed because they are overwhelmed by it” she said in the video. This statement has not gone down well with many men and women.

In a comment on instagram, she also further explained her position;

This video has gone viral for the wrong reasons. It has also been edited by blogs to exclude key parts but that’s fine,social media isn’t friendly. Now let me explain.
The switch in Gender Roles can become confusing and overwhelming for both Genders. and when the man who has been programmed to be the provider is unable to,there is risk of exhibiting certain behaviour that may be harmful to himself or others.
In a bid to meet up, a person can venture into crime or fall into depression after countless dissappointments and confusion. It’s worse for men because they have been programmed to provide. So when this role is taken up by a woman,it’s tough. This even happens at the work place.
Some men hate working with a female boss,because they can’t stand the idea of a woman telling them what to do or going home with the bigger pay cheque. It isn’t what they are used to and if they can’t better their situation, it weighs hard on them.
Let me break it down.
What do you think happens when a boy is told a girl scored higher or did better than he did at school or at a game…he starts to cry or at least feels very bad. This isnt because someone did better than he did,he is crying because that person is a girl. These are the kind of thinking such people grow up with.
In the same vein, Research has proven that more powerful women than men are prone to depression because of societal expectations to fail and not to fail and the confusion of what leadership or communication style to adopt. Should she be assertive or mellow,how does she command respect,how does she ensure people don’t perceive her as a weak leader. How does she continue to be an example of success and how does she do this and not lose her ”femininity”.. This wasn’t a problem when society did not expect this of her. The woman’s role was to be wife and mother,she had no business in the board room or providing for the family, but now, things are changing.
My theory is that a shift in Culturally defined Gender Roles is a factor of depression. The solution is to teach our children that success is not Gender selective at all and to prepare them for it practically.

See the responses from some men below.

Watch the video here

Reactions to Kelechi’s statement

Kelechi’s statement has however, generated some conversations online as some men called out that perception.

Following the backlash online, Lolo decided to give an explanation for Kelechi’s statement on her Instagram page. While she noted that the video was shot last year January, Lolo explained that she just decided to publish the video recently. She also apologized for the headline of the video as she revealed that it was to get people to click on the video.

She wrote,

This part of the video where @kelechitalks gives her. Opinion have led to huge outrage on twitter. –

Let me say this, I believe we are quick to jump on anything that remotely discusses gender because of the clime we at – that being said, I am not innocent because the heading was click bait; for this I take full responsibility. –
However this was an interesting point and we were corrected that depression might not be the best word to describe it.. –

In this society we live in, we can be honest and realistic that there are a lot of changes happening especially with women. The last century have led to lots of breakthroughs FOr women and also brought up conversation around the roles we had once taken up. –

I believe that many of us have our identities attached to these roles and with this shift, it can be overwhelming to find where you belong in the ever changing world. –

My co-host made sure to highlight that both genders were struggling with this shift as women have also had to step up into certain roles that they didn’t have to engage in before. –

It will do us no good to continue to give into the outrage! We can’t fight for change and not be willing to discuss how these changes are affecting the dynamic of day to day activities and our views on identity and life in general. –

View this post on Instagram

This part of the video where @kelechitalks gives her. Opinion have led to huge outrage on twitter. – Let me say this, I believe we are quick to jump on anything that remotely discusses gender because of the clime we at – that being said, I am not innocent because the heading was click bait; for this I take full responsibility. – However this was an interesting point and we were corrected that depression might not be the best word to describe it.. – In this society we live in, we can be honest and realistic that there are a lot of changes happening especially with women. The last century have led to lots of breakthroughs FOr women and also brought up conversation around the roles we had once taken up. – I believe that many of us have our identities attached to these roles and with this shift, it can be overwhelming to find where you belong in the ever changing world. – My co-host made sure to highlight that both genders were struggling with this shift as women have also had to step up into certain roles that they didn't have to engage in before. – It will do us no good to continue to give into the outrage! We can't fight for change and not be willing to discuss how these changes are affecting the dynamic of day to day activities and our views on identity and life in general. – Please comment on your take on this topic

A post shared by Lolo Cynthia (@lolo_cy) on

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1 Comment

1 Comment

  1. Adekoya Clare Olusola

    Adekoya Clare Olusola

    January 23, 2019 at 6:46 pm

    So women should stop being good at what they do so men can feel better or its normal for men to feel that women must always be beneath them and subject to their whims, even the explanation is very annoying.

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