Personal Stories

The Important Conversation Tosin Had With Her Late Mother About What Should Happen After Her Death


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Death is not a subject that is openly discussed in Africa. In many societies, it is a taboo. Discussions on the place of burial is a little bit open, however, only very old people are ‘permitted’ to have such discussions.

But when Tosin’s dad who had sickle cell disease died at 52, she wished they had talked about where he would have loved to be buried. Tosin’s family lives in the UK, so, they decided to bury him there, just beside his younger brother.

Tosin wasn’t sure if that was what her dad would have wanted but it gave her some peace.

When Tosin’s dad died, her mum decided to have the death conversation with her, telling her how she would love to be buried.

“My mum sitting me down and talking to me about what she wanted when she passed away allowed us to have a real in-depth conversation. The fact that she said a lot of the things that she’s been through in the UK felt like she was living in a box. She didn’t want to be in a box when she then dies as well. That’s why she wanted to be cremated, and scattered in her father’s land” Tosin told BBC Africa.

Three months after her dad died, Tosin’s mum died of cancer at 52.

It was a huge relief to know that she had the conversation with her mum before she passed away. Now, she wishes Africans will be more open to discussing subjects around death.

Watch her speak here

Where's the right place to bury your parents?

How do you decide where to bury your parents if you don’t speak about death? Tosin lost both of her parents within three months, but never had the chance to ask her dad if he wanted to be buried in the UK or Nigeria. (via BBC Stories).

Posted by BBC News Africa on Thursday, November 15, 2018


Now check these out:

“Life Is Too Sweet To Waste It In Jail” – Havilahdivas Speaks On The “New Revolution” Of Women Stabbing Their Cheating Husbands To Death

Q & A With Hope Ogbologugo – The Woman Who Started The First Death Café In West Africa




  1. Adenike Lawal

    Adenike Lawal

    January 3, 2019 at 10:35 am


  2. Ijeoma Buzor Odinigwe

    Ijeoma Buzor Odinigwe

    January 3, 2019 at 11:28 am


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