Do you or do you know somebody that has a question or an issue and will like to have other women’s opinion on the matter? Please, send it to firstname.lastname@example.org for our Real Women, Real Issues series. (Identity will not be revealed)
Dear Woman.NG Readers,
I just want to vent! My family members are surprised when I told them why I want to get a divorce because they think the only reasons women should divorce in Nigeria is domestic violence. Well, there has been no physical abuse, he never hit me for one second, also I have never caught him cheating on me, he likely did, but I don’t have any prove.
So why do I want to divorce at 28, after just two years of marriage?
When we got married I didn’t have a job but I was frantically searching for one and he knew it, and he never objected. I had worked for a company but unfortunately they closed down and I lost my job. He proposed marriage after I lost that job, and though I was reluctant to get married without a job, he promised me everything will be okay.
I got pregnant immediately after marriage and so I could not search for a job seriously, but now my twins are old enough, I want to go back to work but he has a problem with it. I am a graduate and I also have a professional qualification, and I know with time I will get a good job. I have begged and made him see reasons but he has refused, he wants me to stay at home and take care of the children.
He earns about 200k per month; he is not looking for another job and does not believe in doing side business. I even suggested we do the Canada immigration thing but he said he is not interested. Yet he doesn’t want me to work. How are we going to have better lives for ourselves and our children on this kind of income? Why can’t the two of us hustle and make more money while we are still young enough to do it.
How can he be content taking care of five (his younger sister lives with us) people on 200k salary? We live in a two bed apartment in a bad area of Lagos and we are always struggling to pay up bills. I don’t want to live my life like this and regret when I am old, I don’t want my children to live in poverty.
He has said I should choose between my marriage and a job but people are saying I should pray and give him time to change his mind, but for how long will I wait? I don’t know!