It Happened To Me

The Man Who Raped Me Died Yesterday And This Is How I Feel

   

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Some aged parents have lost their star son, a wife has lost her husband, two daughters have lost their father, they are sad and inconsolable, but I am not.

I was only 13 when I was brutally raped by my 22-year-old neighbour, I was home alone when he knocked on our door, he said he had just returned from his University and his family wasn’t at home, they were not expecting him so they didn’t drop the key.

I opened the door and let him in, he sat down, put on the TV and brought out a bottle of Fanta, he asked if I wanted, I dashed to the kitchen to grab a cup, I took a sip and that was the last thing I remembered until I woke up to my mother’s wailing and shouting.

He denied ever seeing me that day, he said he was in school and never came home. His family believed him, they never saw him that day, and nobody saw him apart from me.

My parents were too ashamed to fight for me, they didn’t want more people knowing about what happened, I bled and couldn’t walk straight, and they massage me with hot water. They were afraid what neighbours, church members, relative and everybody else would think of them if they knew their first daughter had been raped.

Our Pastor said I had the spirit of lust inside me and that is what made me a victim of rape, they did deliverance for me and prayed against the marine spirits they believed lured the man that raped me.

I didn’t return to school for almost one year, and for that one year. My parents lied to people I had gone to stay with my aunt in Lagos.

I repeated classes before I could graduate from secondary school, it took me a long time to get admission into a polytechnic. I couldn’t talk about the trauma or how much it had affected my mental health. I talked in a low voice and walked with my head down, I was damaged inside and outside.

The man who raped me walked around freely, they celebrated his graduation, they celebrated his wedding and his children naming ceremonies, I saw him every Christmas when he would come to his parents’ house with his family. I heard stories of his many successes.

Two years ago he sent me a text, “I just got your number from your cousin now, can we let bygone be bygone? please”, I never replied.

Yesterday, he died. He was attacked by armed robbers, powerless and helpless he begged for his life but they shot him in the head. I am not happy or sad, I feel nothing.

– Phebe

 

 

 

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38 Comments

38 Comments

  1. ebony@yahoo.com'

    ebony

    July 15, 2015 at 11:19 am

    Karma always has a way of hunting down evil doers. He should have come to beg for your forgiveness….he still had the effrontery to send a text causally saying let by gones be by gones…

  2. bunmisorunke@yahoo.com'

    Bunmi

    July 17, 2015 at 3:20 am

    Yee… I don’t know what I would have felt too. Oh dear…

  3. bunmisorunke@yahoo.com'

    Bunmi

    July 17, 2015 at 3:40 am

    My first response would not have been helpful. Having had time to think. It is time to move on. I can imagine the emptiness the experience must have created and the annoyance the flippant apology must have evoked. Though the experience may have caused some delays and a lot of pain, it really is time to let go… And don’t undestimate the power of prayers. Not your fault and you are not guilty. You are not less than any woman.

  4. adefisayomii@yahoo.com'

    tosin

    August 6, 2015 at 12:56 pm

    Dear it hurt a lot, but you’ve to let go and start a fresh. let the genuine spirit of total forgiveness flow in you, ask God for help. Lack of forgiveness bring about set- back in once life. also you can see a counselor ( cos you need to speak to someone).

  5. anitaabunche93@gmail.com'

    anita

    September 30, 2015 at 7:20 am

    It’s high time you let go like you said dey celebrated his success it’s high time your parent see you in a new let them celebrate you too light not our daughter that was raped but our daughter that made something good for herself despite what she went through you are strong raise your head high don’t let your tiara fall cos you are a queen #girl power

  6. akinkunmi.akinbile@yahoo.com'

    Akin

    November 22, 2015 at 10:39 pm

    Hi. I’m a guy, I don’t know if I should be here. I just want to recommend a book. It changed my life. ” Attitude is Everything ” by Keith Harrell.
    Take care.

  7. mawobode@yahoo.com'

    Titi

    November 23, 2015 at 9:19 am

    It’s so sad that he never came to ask for forgiveness. No one can understand what you are going through. May you find total healing and don’t blame yourself for what ever had happened. I pray that God forgives him and that his sin is not visited on the family he left behind. It took you years to say it out and I salute your courage; a lot never say it out. It’s time for us to speak out

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  12. Agumadu Cynthia Sandra

    Agumadu Cynthia Sandra

    June 1, 2020 at 6:52 pm

    You know when people hurt the innocent, nemesis catch up with them sooner or later ,they pay for their evil deeds in pain and more than they bargained for 🤗
    Dearie 😘God fought ur pain for u,he did this to show u ,he kept account of his atrocious behavior towards u,he took his life painfully to convince u he watches over u🙌 be happy and heal now 🤗

    May all the victim out there in pain ,find justice 😥 for all they were rubbed off 😭😭😭😭

  13. Ochonma Uboho Margaret

    Ochonma Uboho Margaret

    June 1, 2020 at 7:12 pm

    Nemesis always catches up with evil people especially when they show no remorse ! now you can heal and move on Make lemonades out of your lemons!!

  14. Naomi Frederick

    Naomi Frederick

    June 1, 2020 at 7:43 pm

    Clueless pastor.

  15. Uche Ezike Mbah

    Uche Ezike Mbah

    June 1, 2020 at 7:54 pm

    Be healed dear, your finally free

  16. Beke-ere Warri

    Beke-ere Warri

    June 1, 2020 at 8:04 pm

    #say No to Rape

  17. Adaobi Philomena Abali

    Adaobi Philomena Abali

    June 1, 2020 at 8:15 pm

    Nemesis awaits him come some day

  18. Joseph Eddie

    Joseph Eddie

    June 1, 2020 at 8:28 pm

    Depressing, may all victims find a voice Justice and be heald

  19. Alawode Opeyemi Yetunde

    Alawode Opeyemi Yetunde

    June 1, 2020 at 8:37 pm

    Let bygone be bygone. Is it just like that. How can you do such a ghastly act like that and expect it to end by text. Well only God can judge him. Bye

  20. Stacy Benjamin

    Stacy Benjamin

    June 1, 2020 at 9:50 pm

    Why not if not😂😂

  21. Onyinyechi Nweke

    Onyinyechi Nweke

    June 1, 2020 at 11:01 pm

    Be healed and be calm

  22. Eucharia Nkechi Ihedioha

    Eucharia Nkechi Ihedioha

    June 1, 2020 at 11:39 pm

    If he is dead now is the time to go to his grave and pop champagne

  23. Taiwo Rhoda Omolaja

    Taiwo Rhoda Omolaja

    June 2, 2020 at 7:22 am

    That is karma

  24. Rukayat Olabisi Omotosho

    Rukayat Olabisi Omotosho

    June 2, 2020 at 7:36 am

    The wicked sha not go unpunished no matter how long it takes!

  25. Olabisi Dairo

    Olabisi Dairo

    June 2, 2020 at 11:50 am

    To mothers of boys no matter the ages start telling them about rape and it repercussions. You can never over emphasize it God will help us.

  26. Eniobanke Abimbola Florence

    Eniobanke Abimbola Florence

    June 2, 2020 at 12:24 pm

    That’s payback for him

  27. Faith Ifeoluwa Ogunlola

    Faith Ifeoluwa Ogunlola

    June 2, 2020 at 1:01 pm

    should we say justice has been served, however there is a greater judgment that awaits him as he meets God

  28. Ekhosuehi Iz

    Ekhosuehi Iz

    June 2, 2020 at 3:24 pm

    Karma

  29. Emomotimi Orusede Uwhema

    Emomotimi Orusede Uwhema

    June 2, 2020 at 5:21 pm

    Rape is evil
    Say no to rape

  30. Safiya Mansur

    Safiya Mansur

    June 2, 2020 at 10:59 pm

    The earlier we accept that there is mental health and it can get contaminated the best for us.

  31. Benson Regina Ini

    Benson Regina Ini

    June 3, 2020 at 3:45 pm

    I see post of rape n I cry out like a baby….. Why?…. Cause…. God heal us all

  32. Juliet Chinyere Ugwu

    Juliet Chinyere Ugwu

    June 3, 2020 at 4:53 pm

    May these all die a miserable death

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