It Happened To Me

A Friend In Need Is NOT Always A Friend Indeed – My Personal Experience

   

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We are all familiar with two types of friends:

1. The friend who stays with you in good times and bad times.
2. The friend who stays with you in good times and runs away in bad times.

Well, there is a third one – the friend who stays with you in bad times but will run away in good times. Strange? Yes it is.

I have a friend who likes making friends with people having a hard time, she gets really close to them, sends them texts and calls them morning, noon and night to encourage them and offer to help them in any way she can. All these sound great right?

Well, the sad thing is that the moment things start working out for you, she will disappear. She will even discourage you from making decisions that will help you get out of that bad situation.

We became really close when I lost my job a while ago, she was always coming around with groceries, and she encouraged me to share my burden with her, I thought she was around to be my friend, but every time I talked about going for an interview or doing things to help me get a job, she turned cold or changed the subject.

The day I told her I got a job, she didn’t even say congratulations; she was so angry and started giving me reasons why I shouldn’t take another job so soon.

She stopped calling and stopped picking my calls after I resumed work, I felt really hurt because I thought we had developed a good friendship.

I am not the only one that has experienced this from her, almost everyone in our circle of friends has their own story of how she broke up with them after their situations changed from bad to good.

She has a new friend now, a woman who just got separated from her cheating husband, but we all know what will happen when this woman decides to move on.

She loves her friends to be in a perpetual state of failure,  and she can’t stand it when they eventually succeed.

How do you deal with a friend like that?

 Sent in by Anonymous writer

 

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110 Comments

110 Comments

  1. yzharkahyel@yahoo.com'

    Zharkahyel

    March 16, 2013 at 3:05 pm

    When it comes to good things don’t i won’t seek advice from. But she wil always be a friend.

  2. onepageafrica@gmail.com'

    debby baro

    April 16, 2013 at 10:57 pm

    Different people have different reasons for ‘friendship’. For any one who believes they are only going to be fiends for sympathy sake, then they leave so much soured taste in the mouth. True friendship will always remain, no mather the condition.

  3. adekanbi_a@yahoo.com'

    Dee

    March 8, 2014 at 8:51 am

    Some are not friends they are just obssessed with themselves by being friends to u.when i was in schl i use to have a friend whom i later realise we were friends cos cos she needs to do better.i realise when i get better academically she feels left out and gets angry for not getting help to do better the worst thing was i wasnt obssesed with myself like her.whether she did better or not,shes neither a great helper neither do i see a reason to bother her all the time for my own inadequancies.yet i didnt knw she stereotype herself to do better.the day she got mad i told her what if we find out other things she got from ppl she scold dat i knw she wud have being screwd if she didnt get dat help from them and she failed to analyze and this ppl dnt count on such things neither do they even remember.the point is when u see yourself as a saviour or greater u will definitely forget who is saving u or better than u in other areas.its called pride and its stupidity and self centred behaviour.cos a real friend somehow may feel attached to you in a healthy way.

  4. adeyemisiheg@yahoo.com'

    Olivia

    November 30, 2015 at 7:28 pm

    Enemy of progress type of friend

    • suchinwiwu@yahoo.com'

      Sopuruchi Nwiwu

      November 30, 2015 at 9:57 pm

      Well well,this sounds like my story! I used to have a friend like that, taking care of me when am ill,offering me cooked meals when am too busy or too stressed to cook and consoling me when I had a painful break up…all the while enjoying every bit of it. Well, things changed, I moved on, started my postgraduate studies, got into a new relationship and she changed. Tried to talk me out of the relationship but couldn’t succeed.I ditched her. And now,am happier and I feel so much better without all that jealousy and selfishness of my so called friend

  5. adeyemisiheg@yahoo.com'

    Oluwaseyi

    November 30, 2015 at 9:29 pm

    Such friend is not worth keeping at all.

  6. Bunmi Bello

    Bunmi Bello

    July 17, 2020 at 1:17 pm

    That is life

  7. Daisi Moses

    Daisi Moses

    July 17, 2020 at 1:40 pm

    This is strange. May be she’s a witch. They get unduly envious when you make progress, they don’t want you to outshine them. Good news irritates them. They’re noisy, nosy, and lousy. They tell lies a lot, they’re overtly friendly and jovial, they’re lecherous, pompous, and vicious. They cover a lot of evil and odium with their joviality. Witchcraft is the name for their attributes.

    • Anita Eromosele Daniels

      Anita Eromosele Daniels

      July 17, 2020 at 3:37 pm

      Daisi Moses your description is top notch

    • Cee Uchechukwu-jay

      Cee Uchechukwu-jay

      July 17, 2020 at 5:22 pm

      Daisi Moses this describes it all damn

    • Gift Bobson

      Gift Bobson

      July 17, 2020 at 6:31 pm

      Daisi Moses
      What is description 👌

    • Pat Nkajima Olakada

      Pat Nkajima Olakada

      July 20, 2020 at 4:25 pm

      And then no one understands you when u try to explain tins to dem bcos Dy r attracted to der funny nature. Laughing with u and killing you.may God expose

    • Daisi Moses

      Daisi Moses

      July 20, 2020 at 4:57 pm

      Pat Nkajima Olakada, yes! They gain entrance into people’s lives by being jovial and overly friendly. They’re highly interested in knowing the secret of your home, your family, your life, and of everything about you, and they wouldn’t even keep such secrets. They would spread them around. They work with such information to attack you spiritually. Very dangerous young ladies, you wouldn’t know until they’ve damaged a lot of things in your life. Only God can save one from them.

  8. Scholarstica Omamuruemu Agberegha

    Scholarstica Omamuruemu Agberegha

    July 17, 2020 at 2:12 pm

    Life and it’s Mysteries
    I have Neva noticed people like that I would be more vigilant now

  9. Osawaru Theresa Omo

    Osawaru Theresa Omo

    July 17, 2020 at 2:39 pm

    They are every where. When they see something good in you the become jealousy I know of someone one like that. If you dress anyhow she can come n hug u when you dress extremely beautiful her contanence will change. May God save us from such so call friends.

  10. Patmichael Api

    Patmichael Api

    July 17, 2020 at 3:22 pm

    A lesson to one
    Lessons to all

  11. Ifyemma Uduaka Ifyemma Onyetua

    Ifyemma Uduaka Ifyemma Onyetua

    July 17, 2020 at 3:25 pm

    Your right

  12. Jane Tiana Nwosu

    Jane Tiana Nwosu

    July 17, 2020 at 3:26 pm

    Seriously some will want u to be ok…but not better than them…so that you will still be under them

    • Fatima Yusuf Sule

      Fatima Yusuf Sule

      July 17, 2020 at 4:49 pm

      Jane Tiana Nwosu very true I had a friend dat just wanted u to be der but never better Dan her

    • Jane Tiana Nwosu

      Jane Tiana Nwosu

      July 17, 2020 at 6:39 pm

      Fatima Yusuf Sule …such is life my dear..

    • Beatrice Junior

      Beatrice Junior

      July 18, 2020 at 8:09 am

      Jane Tiana Nwosu so true I once had a friend like that when I realized I have to cut her off.

    • Jane Tiana Nwosu

      Jane Tiana Nwosu

      July 18, 2020 at 9:01 am

      Beatrice Junior You did well otherwise you will live under her shadow forever.

    • Beatrice Junior

      Beatrice Junior

      July 18, 2020 at 10:37 am

      Jane Tiana Nwosu yes ooo I thank God for that.

  13. Mercy Iboko

    Mercy Iboko

    July 17, 2020 at 3:33 pm

    That is life

  14. Maryjane Emehuo

    Maryjane Emehuo

    July 17, 2020 at 4:22 pm

    Some people love it when you live off them. They want you wrapped in their fingers so you get indebted to them. Such kind of people can’t stand you doing better than they are. They just want you to keep bowing and worshipping them while you turn into their maids. You can’t even say NO to any of their demands,cos when you do, you’d be termed ungrateful..
    These kinda people are NARCISSIST….

    May God not let us be in a situation where our daily bread is in the hands of our oppressors..

    God no go shame us ooo🔥

  15. Cee Uchechukwu-jay

    Cee Uchechukwu-jay

    July 17, 2020 at 5:21 pm

    Is she possessed

  16. Gloria Egbunu

    Gloria Egbunu

    July 17, 2020 at 5:51 pm

    That’s why it is good to study countenance. Once I observe a friends countenance change when I try improving on something or trying been successful I off. I remembered a friend of mine usually like showing off outside when I decided to show off she turns me down publicly trying to show others she’s better off than me. I decided to take a break from her cause it became a repeated action. Nevertheless there are still friends indeed. We should not shoot out from trying to find solace where it is.

  17. Onyeabor Chidimma Grace

    Onyeabor Chidimma Grace

    July 17, 2020 at 6:20 pm

    This kind of friend na witchcraft she b

  18. Osazeme RS Nkem Oh

    Osazeme RS Nkem Oh

    July 17, 2020 at 7:05 pm

    We must stop bandying the word friend about as is it 10kobo. Some people are suppose to remain in that labelling of acquaintance. Friend is an expensive/heavy role and word. The bible said “closer than a brother”.

    • Michael Bhlaque Owen

      Michael Bhlaque Owen

      July 21, 2020 at 9:29 am

      Osazeme RS Nkem Oh point of correction the Bible did specify which means there can be one not closer like a brother.

    • Osazeme RS Nkem Oh

      Osazeme RS Nkem Oh

      July 21, 2020 at 10:55 am

      Michael you have missed the point. If the standard is “closer than a brother” it means, it means a true friend is a sibling/a relative without the obligations and bonds of blood. Anyone outside of that is an acquaintance.

  19. Endy Kash

    Endy Kash

    July 17, 2020 at 7:07 pm

    She was just an enemy of progress that’s all. They are everywhere. When things are bad with u, they will be acting like friends who care for u to get over a bad situation, but when things eventually change for u, their countenance automatically change cos they are not happy about ur progress

  20. Nkechi Obioma

    Nkechi Obioma

    July 17, 2020 at 7:48 pm

    Very true

  21. Toyin Aya Olufemi

    Toyin Aya Olufemi

    July 17, 2020 at 8:07 pm

    Most of this friends are just wack. Honestly just follow them the way they are following u.

  22. Letta St Mark

    Letta St Mark

    July 17, 2020 at 8:10 pm

    For the fact she came with Groceries she’s good 🥰… pls pray that food wont kill me😩

  23. Hisgrace Aboundstome

    Hisgrace Aboundstome

    July 17, 2020 at 8:12 pm

    It may be a psychological problem.

  24. Endurance Mercy Utip

    Endurance Mercy Utip

    July 17, 2020 at 9:32 pm

    Hmmm

  25. Abby Onyems

    Abby Onyems

    July 17, 2020 at 10:29 pm

    I agree completely

  26. Rhoda Danjuma

    Rhoda Danjuma

    July 17, 2020 at 10:32 pm

    THIS IS LIFE FOR U

  27. Julietreal Chichi Nwaogu

    Julietreal Chichi Nwaogu

    July 17, 2020 at 11:50 pm

    I know someone like that. I overlook those nonsense she does because deep inside of me, I already know who she is. It’s even good she hangs around to see more.
    #ImUnstoppable

  28. مریم طیب

    مریم طیب

    July 18, 2020 at 4:20 am

    Missing my friends 😢 we all get married and travel to different countries

  29. Love Benedy

    Love Benedy

    July 18, 2020 at 5:37 am

    My dear I do understand you a lot cuz I have been in that state before. I had that kind of deceit in disguise as a friend.
    So my conclusion is that THERE IS NOTHING LIKE GIRL FRIEND.

    • Obinna Agaziem

      Obinna Agaziem

      July 19, 2020 at 7:03 am

      Hope u can have me as your boyfriend,since girlfrnd doesnt exist

    • Sunday Omaga

      Sunday Omaga

      July 19, 2020 at 8:13 am

      Always woman re dislike to there self bcs of dere behaviors may God continue help you peoples.

    • Irene Nnadi

      Irene Nnadi

      July 19, 2020 at 8:44 am

      Love Benedy very correct

    • Love Benedy

      Love Benedy

      July 19, 2020 at 9:54 am

      Obinna Agaziem yes there but you are already ENTANGLED.

    • Love Benedy

      Love Benedy

      July 19, 2020 at 9:54 am

      Sunday Omaga amen my dear

    • Love Benedy

      Love Benedy

      July 19, 2020 at 9:54 am

      Irene Nnadi thanks dear

    • Taiwo Bakare Ogunlaja

      Taiwo Bakare Ogunlaja

      July 19, 2020 at 12:57 pm

      Nothing of such, just be urself n b good

    • Obinna Agaziem

      Obinna Agaziem

      July 19, 2020 at 9:34 pm

      Amen,how i wish i’m truely entingled like you said,but life goes on.

    • Chidimma Aniebue

      Chidimma Aniebue

      July 21, 2020 at 6:04 am

      Nothing like girl freind.

  30. Joyce Funmi-Mathew

    Joyce Funmi-Mathew

    July 18, 2020 at 8:07 am

    Izi Igeleke come and see

    • Izi Igeleke

      Izi Igeleke

      July 18, 2020 at 8:36 am

      Joyce Funmi-Mathew. I am not surprised o.

  31. Favoured Princess Isioma

    Favoured Princess Isioma

    July 18, 2020 at 8:46 am

    Unfriendly friends.

  32. Angel Light

    Angel Light

    July 18, 2020 at 10:30 am

    Thank God she didn’t poison her . May God deliver all of us from friend-enemy

  33. Abike Adebisi Adekoya

    Abike Adebisi Adekoya

    July 18, 2020 at 11:25 am

    I feel this your friend has psychological issues. She has dependency issues where she desires people to rely on her and need her; once they are out of that dependency state, she doesn’t know what to do with herself anymore and feels useless.

    For the sake of all the kindness she has shown you and your circle of friends while you all were low, please get her the help she so badly needs.🙏

  34. Oluwakemi Babatunde

    Oluwakemi Babatunde

    July 18, 2020 at 11:52 am

    Yes, this happen to my elder sister, she had a friend back then in school, they where so close that even after school they always together, then she pack to our house because her parent stay in another state, she was doing business and my sis was helping her, the day my sis was called to come and collect her appointment letter just like a movie, she was so angry that that very day she pack out of our house, it was like a dream to us.

  35. Oladejo Blessyn Afeso

    Oladejo Blessyn Afeso

    July 18, 2020 at 12:51 pm

    Enemy of progress. Never disclose you plans to any friend, I learnt that in a hard way

  36. Dalyne Ahemen Tagher-Vky

    Dalyne Ahemen Tagher-Vky

    July 18, 2020 at 2:18 pm

    I have a particular friend like that too. She finds fault in everything good that comes my way. While she is right there in a mess without saying a word, she will tell me how much she can’t tolerate what I’ve tolerated. I remember how she brought my secret to discuss before her husband and they started advising me. I was so embarrassed, now the so called husband is nowhere to be found. She visited me crying and pouring out her heart to me, I was surprised her ex husband did all that to her all the while they were advising me😲😲. Fear girls with bad energy,, I resolved to keeping all friends at arm’s length. Family first.

  37. Victorious Vickie

    Victorious Vickie

    July 18, 2020 at 4:32 pm

    Ok

  38. Mariah Odah

    Mariah Odah

    July 18, 2020 at 7:03 pm

    Some friends is only you that gives them complement when they dress nice but the day you dress better than them they will pretend as if they did not see you.

  39. Regina Caeli Ayaosi

    Regina Caeli Ayaosi

    July 18, 2020 at 8:52 pm

    She is just telling my story. Thank God for His grace, I have learnt my lessons.

  40. Agnes Domoh

    Agnes Domoh

    July 18, 2020 at 9:51 pm

    Such people are not and should not be called friends

  41. Amara Udobi

    Amara Udobi

    July 19, 2020 at 12:47 am

    I know of one too

  42. Adeleye Funmi Zeal Omolayo

    Adeleye Funmi Zeal Omolayo

    July 19, 2020 at 4:44 am

    She needs help, sounds like a psychological problem

    • Chiamaka Egbu

      Chiamaka Egbu

      July 19, 2020 at 10:06 am

      Adeleye Funmi Zeal Omolayo thanks for this reply. Everyone is already labelling the young lady as been bad, forgetting she may have inferiority issue or other stuff. I feel her friends needs to help her out. They could try and keep in touch even if she is drawing back or at least find out her reason for behaving that way. They can also get her a psychologist is they have the money.

    • Adeleye Funmi Zeal Omolayo

      Adeleye Funmi Zeal Omolayo

      July 19, 2020 at 10:53 am

      Chiamaka Egbu honestly sis, it could be one of those syndromes. There are so many mental illnesses that we know nothing about….I hope she finds all the help that she needs soon.

  43. Tonia Arachie

    Tonia Arachie

    July 19, 2020 at 7:37 am

    Before now, I was a type of Person that is always sacrificing my Time, money, love , talent, everything for anyone I call a friend but when I realized most of them were only there for their selfish benefits and some just taking me as an option, then I realized Neve to make anyone a Priority who Places me just as an option. With the help of the Holy Spirit,I began a Process of evaluation, sieving and weeding of all the People I ever referred to as a friend. I have Permanently cut off totally from some of them , there are some I benched , I kept some as acquaintances, and never attached my emotions to anyone of them again. Sometimes you have to make decisions that Will hurt your heart but Will heal your soul. Family first above all.

  44. Hauwa Hassan

    Hauwa Hassan

    July 19, 2020 at 2:24 pm

    That is human

  45. Wunmi Rotimi Sanni

    Wunmi Rotimi Sanni

    July 19, 2020 at 3:46 pm

    You are absolutely right, they fill they are in control when helping you

  46. Esther Dom

    Esther Dom

    July 19, 2020 at 3:59 pm

    This one na witchcraft ooo

  47. Emefiele Maureen Darius

    Emefiele Maureen Darius

    July 19, 2020 at 6:30 pm

    Unfriendly friends they are everywhere, please we should all be careful of them.

  48. Cynthia Efetobore Gorden

    Cynthia Efetobore Gorden

    July 19, 2020 at 9:42 pm

    I feel that this type of friends just wants someone to be indepted to them,they always want to be the one appreciated and praised for helping out…so wen u start doing well,they get angry because they want u to be down to make them look good and better than u

  49. Oriyomi Dupsy

    Oriyomi Dupsy

    July 20, 2020 at 2:35 am

    Any toxic frds give them gap

  50. Tina E Ventures

    Tina E Ventures

    July 20, 2020 at 7:24 am

    Am not surprised cos I was very close to such a devilish friend for 3yrs and due to her condition, I usually help out, but at some point, she became envious and stated competing with me based on wears both for myself and children……. each time I bought wears, her mood automatically change to the extent that she started stealing from me right inside my house inorder to meet up with her competition……
    And I sometimes buys her wears and other things.

  51. May Monday Mumbi

    May Monday Mumbi

    July 20, 2020 at 8:46 am

    Martha Macharia

  52. Nwoko Isidore

    Nwoko Isidore

    July 20, 2020 at 2:10 pm

    This is the worst type of friend

  53. Titilayo Olalekan

    Titilayo Olalekan

    July 20, 2020 at 2:34 pm

    They Are Everywhere, They Wnt Talk When U Dnt Have Anything But When They Start Seeing Changes Like This, They Will Become Ur Enemy Cuz I Have Them But, Thank God We Are Nt Together Again,

  54. Oluwashayo Sayo Omomeji

    Oluwashayo Sayo Omomeji

    July 20, 2020 at 2:43 pm

    Friends like that might probably have mental issues

  55. Ikhonmiotor Debby Omwanghe

    Ikhonmiotor Debby Omwanghe

    July 20, 2020 at 3:27 pm

    The only 3 girls frds and 1bros I have which are just more than sister s and a brother to me are not jealous,they are just too understanding and more than being”nice”others who are around I like them also ,but are not to be trusted,in life I have learnt so many lessons from friends especially….we are in wicked world,the best way to stay away from problem is to “be your self” mind your own business”and serve God,now am good in it,may God help us all.

  56. Oduniyi Adunni

    Oduniyi Adunni

    July 20, 2020 at 4:28 pm

    Yes

  57. Joan Akpan

    Joan Akpan

    July 20, 2020 at 4:37 pm

    They are every where dear at one occasion, my so-called friend daughter was seek,so I always frequent myself in her place since we are neighbours at a time my inner spirit tells me this child will suddenly shout that you are the one holding her neck,naso I jejely withdrew my leg,later I spoke my feelings out and they laughed over it but this woman’s behavior of recent proves that she was actually a jealoused fellow

  58. Lovelily Ginika

    Lovelily Ginika

    July 20, 2020 at 5:44 pm

    Very true. I recently recovered from the damages done by one.

  59. Bibitayo Lawrence

    Bibitayo Lawrence

    July 20, 2020 at 9:11 pm

    May God keep protecting us from such people in Jesus name, I have learnt my lesson in a hard way. I’m not interested in any unfriendly friend again

  60. Precious Chinilistic

    Precious Chinilistic

    July 20, 2020 at 10:27 pm

    Iam a one woman squad, friends don’t control my life neither do they no runs

  61. Blessing Joseph

    Blessing Joseph

    July 21, 2020 at 8:30 am

    You’re right

  62. Agatha Okoye Okeke

    Agatha Okoye Okeke

    July 21, 2020 at 11:21 am

    Stay away from her.Cut her off.She is not a friend but a destiny destroyer.

  63. Chidinma Richard

    Chidinma Richard

    July 21, 2020 at 12:35 pm

    Bad people everywhere but good people are few

  64. Uduak Phillip

    Uduak Phillip

    July 21, 2020 at 12:49 pm

    Some friends just wants you to be ok BUT not better than them! That’s a fact👌. Note them and keep them at a comfortable arm’s length.

  65. Samuel Onuoha

    Samuel Onuoha

    July 21, 2020 at 2:48 pm

    Be careful of fair weather friends always available when the going is good but disappear when the going is tough. So prayerful choose your friends .All those once coming to pull you down God will not allow them come around you.man is not an island or a network of isolation you need a friend going the same direction.

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