Before saying “I do” especially as a lady, you need to look out for some red flags. Although one would think that the years or months of being in a relationship should serve as an eye-opener, you may still want to do your final findings just before tying the knots.
There may not be a comprehensive list of all the red flags to look out but beware of the following:
Look Out For How They Treat People
Your partner may be a cherub when they are around you but have you looked at how they treat other people? Observe their tone of voice and expressions when around outsiders like in a restaurant, store etc. If they do not respect people, they will also not respect you in the long run.
A lot of people, unfortunately, ignore this red flag. If your partner is always lying to other people in your presence, they will also lie about you to other people. This particular trait is about is an accumulation of others such as unfaithfulness. Please lookout for it.
When Core Values are Different
Having the same core values is as important as everything. You need to scrutinize and see that you both are in agreement with literally everything. In the course of your conversations, if you notice you both have different views and opinions about life in general, you might want to take a step back to re-evaluate.
Some instances you may want to consider are – method of discipline, religion, sexual expectations, political views. We understand that you both cannot have the same views on everything but it becomes worrisome when the differences are a lot and neither party is willing to meet the other halfway.
If They Still Talk With Their Ex
This may seem negligible right? I mean we all probably have that one ex that we are still friends with. But you need to be certain about what exactly the nature of the relationship is. Is he her emergency contact? Does he send her money every now and then? Do they chat frequently? If this is the case, you may have to re-access the situation.
No Family Boundaries Are Set
This is a huge red flag that needs to be nipped immediately after it is noticed. Does his family interfere in his decision making or want to be consulted in every decision? Do they have an opinion on everything he does?
Please check for how firm and decisive he is in decision making. If he needs his family’s consent in literally everything, he will probably need their opinion on the number of children you both will have.
Like I said earlier, there is no comprehensive list but if you notice any of the above, please take your time before making the big decision.
About The Writer
Uchechi Ogochukwu studied communication, is now a salesperson and a soon to be polyglot